"THE OFFICER'S MESS:"               "SAMUEL HORWITZ:" SOLO SHORT:               RELEASED ON:        OCTOBER 19, 1935:

CAST MEMBERS NAMES AND THEIR ROLES:

SAMUEL HORWITZ........GUS DOAKS
DETMAR POPPEN........SERGEANT
CHARLES KEMPER........MAJOUR BEDD
HORACE McMAHON........CORPORAL
LOUISE SQUIRES........{MOLLY}; MAJOUR BEDD'S GIRLFRIEND
JULES EPAILLY........{OSCAR}; RESTAURANT MANAGER

We open "THE OFFICER'S MESS;" on a beautiful Summer's day, a cloudless blue skye, with the sun in full shine and the trees are in full leafing.

We now see a beautiful beveled glass door entrance way of a very eleganté French Restaurant that reads:

MAISON BOZEAU

We now see Majour Bedd and Molly his girlfriend approaching the restaurant as they are now being happily greeted by Oscar the Restaurant Manager.

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Oscar is greeting him with a huge smile on his face as he is using a perky and professional voice and is bowing to him out of politeness as he is saying):  "Aaaaah, bonjour, Majour Bedd, aaaaah, aaaaah, will you take a seat, Monsieur?"

MAJOUR BEDD to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As Majour Bedd is standing there with a mischievous look on his face as he is saying to Oscar in a gleeful tone of voice):  "Ehnha, ehnha, sure, sure!"

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to {MOLLY}; MAJOUR BEDD'S GIRLFRIEND:  (As Oscar is now politely helping here into her chair and is saying to her in a gleeful and professional voice):  "Et, Madame?"

MAJOUR BEDD to OSCAR the RESTAURNAT MANAGER:  (As he is now happily sitting there in his Dress Military Uniform with a gleeful look on his face as he is happily pounding his hands on the table and asks him in a happy tone of voice):  "Hunha, hunha, what would you suggest for dinner?"

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Oscar is now standing next to him dressed in a tuxedo and is saying to him in a happy tone of voice as he is once again bowing to him in politeness and is kissing his fingers):  "Aaaaah, Majour Bedd, the lobster, hummha, she is most delicious!"

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As he is looking at her with a happy and flirtatious look on his face as he is saying to her in a happy tone of voice):  "That sounds good, doesn't it?"

MOLLY to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As she is sitting there leaning slightly forwards on the table dressed in a beautiful short-sleeved, full length black and white cheques silk dress with a black hat with two white roses on the left side as she has a mischievous look on her face and is saying to him in a mischievous tone of voice):  "Unha, but I'm not hungry, I just want a snack.  I'll have a little consommé, some cold cuts, a side porterhouse steak with hash brown potatoes, peas and carrots, salad, pie á-la modé, cheese, a cup of coffee, and a demitassé."

We now see Majour Bedd giving Oscar the Restaurant Manager a quick look of bewilderment and slight madness as he is raising his eyebrows in wonderment as Oscar has now completed writing dow her ordure and is giving her a look of bewilderment.

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to {MOLLY}; MAJOUR BEDD'S GIRLFRIEND:  {As he is saying to her in a low and perplexed tone of voice as he is giving Majour Bedd a look of wonderment still raising his eyebrows at him in a perplexed state, and then quickly looks at her with a look of dazement and says):  "A cup of coffee and a demitassé?"

MOLLY to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As she is sitting there playing with her hair in a state of mischief and has a devilish look on her face as she is saying to him mischievously):  "Hunha, yes!"

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to MOLLY:  (As he is looking at her with a really dazed look on his face as he is responding back to her in a dazed and questionable voice):  "Hunha, Oui, Madame, will that be all?"

MOLLY to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As she is sitting there with her hands folded underneath her chin and has a look of mischief on her face as she is responding back to him in a sweet and mischievous voice):  "Aaaaah, for the present, yes!"

MAJOUR BEDD to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As he is sitting there looking at Oscar with a devilish look on his face as he is saying to him in a devilish tone of voice):  "And, for the future, too!"

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As he is looking at her sarcastically and is saying to her in a sarcastic voice):  "And, just a snack!"

MAJOUR BEDD to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As Majour Bedd is looking at Oscar with a huge and happy look on his face as he is snapping his fingers and is saying in a really happy and upbeat tone of voice):  "Oscar, champagne, I'll need it for camp tomorrow!"

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As the two of them are sitting there with lovey-dovey looks on their faces for one another as he is saying to her in a lovey-dovey voice):  "And, we're doing a little celebrating?"

Oscar is now exiting for the kitchen to place their ordures and get their champagne with a look of glee on his face.

MOLLY to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As she is sitting there resting her chin on her folded hands looking at him with a look of gazement on her face as she gently slaps him in a state of mischief and says to him in a loving and complimentary voice):  "Honey, why don't you wear that uniform everyday, it makes you look like a million dollars!"

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As he is laughing mischievously and is responding back to her in a state of pride and a proudful look on his face):  "I know it, hey, hunha, but you can't expect me to wear this everyday at the office.  Hunha, hunha, well, all right, once a year when I go to Training Camp!"

We now get a quick glimpse of Molly as she is sitting there with her head slightly cocked as she is resting her chin on her hands and is giving him goo-goo eyes and a sweet and loving look.

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As he is now proudly showing her his medals and is asking her in a really proud tone of voice):  "Hunha, did I ever tell you where I got these medals?"

MOLLY to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As she has a mad and forced mischievous smile on her face as she is saying to him in a mad and sarcastic tone of voice):  "Aaaaah, yes, honey, I know that story backwards!"

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As he is looking at her with a pouty look on his face as he is saying to her in a pouty tone of voice):  "Aaaaah, but Babykins, you're mean now!"

Oscar the Restaurant Manager is now happily approaching their table with an ice pail and their bottle of champagne.

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to MAJOUR BEDD and MOLLY:  (As he is setting down their champagne pail and is saying to them in a very professional state):  "A-la, your champagne."

MAJOUR BEDD to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As Majour Bedd is looking at him with a serious and thankful look on his face as he is saying to him in a thankful tone of voice):  "Thanks, Oscar!"

We are now in the kitchen quarters where we see Gus Doaks standing there dressed in a pair of black dress trousers, a white duck-tailed tuxedo jacket and a black decorative handkerchief in his left jacket pocket.  As with a slightly huge chef dressed in an entire white suit including shoes, apron, and chef's cap.  The Chef is standing at a Butcher's Block style of wooden preparations table preparing food.

Gus is holding a humongous-sized long bromm as he is now blowing a hand-sized whistle and is marching saying, 'Hep-boohlaha, hep-boohlaha, hep-boohlaha, hep-boohlaha, hep-boohlaha, hep-boohlaha,' Gus is now taking six marches straight forwards as he is now turning to his left in the direction of the Chef.

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus has now turned quickly and hits some hanging cooking pots with his broom stick as he is falling to his knees and the Chef is backing up as Gus is saying mischievously):  "Hault, wait a minute now, into the trenches down, out of the trenches; {Here we see Gus taking a quick leap to his right}; hoohlaha, boom; {Here Guse uses a hand motion like he is tossing a hand grenade}; charge!; {Here we see Gus running at full tilt as he is now sticking the broom stick into a hanging slab of meat like it was a bayonette}."

All the while that Gus was completing his marching details the Chef was at his preparations table laughing hysterically.

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is still standing there splitting his ribs with laughter and is using hand motions to support dismay as he is saying to Gus in a French accent supported mischievous voice):  "Aaaaah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, August, it's not like that!"

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus is now approaching him at a quick pace and with an evil look on his face as he is saying to him in a wicked tone of voice):  "Don't call me August, my name is Gus, and startin' tomorrow, it will be Private Gus Doaks, and in a couple of weeks, I'll probably be a General."  {Here we see Gus standing there saluting and with a wiry grin on his face}.  "Boohya, boohya!"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is standing there with his hands on his waist and a surprised look on his face as he is saying to him in a voice that sounds like a chattering chipmunk):  "Chump-chump-chump-chump-chump-chump-chump-chump-chump-chump; choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo; chump-chump-chump-chump-chump-chump;' you have joined the Army?"

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus is standing there with a look of pride on his face as he is using a proud voice and is once again saluting):  "No, I've just joined the 'National Guard,' boohyah, boohyah!"

Here we see the Chef once again laughing hysterically as he is mixing up some cake mixture as Gus is pointing a finger at him in a state of madness and has a mad look on his face.

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus is saying to him in a mad tone of voice and a mad look on his face):  "Laughing, ehy, show me how you did it at Verdun?"

Gus is now leaning on the preparations table looking at the Chef with a devilish look on his face as the Chef is now in a state of madness as he now slaps his hand hard on the preparations table and shouts back at Gus in a state of madness.

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is saying to Gus in a mad tone of voice and a mad look on his face):  "Ill show you, how we do it in the French Army, aaaaah, come over here.  I'll show you; {Here we see the Chef holding a floor washings mop as he now proudly places it at his right side like a rifle as Gus is standing there looking at him with a dumbfounded look on his face}.  Company down, to the down, double, to the forward march, forward march; {Here the Chef is quickly turning to his left as he almost hits Gus in the face with the head of the mop}.

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus is using hand gestures to support scaredness and is saying to him in a scared tone of voice):  "Look out there, look out now, I saw you that time!"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is quickly lunging forwards and is hitting Gus betwixt the legs with the mop head and with a mad look on his face as he is using a mad tone of voice):  "And, forward now, march, hiya, hault!" {Here we see the Chef now pulling Gus forwards on the mop as the two of them are now crashing down to the floor}.

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus has now taken the mop from him and is tossing it aside as they are now standing up and Gus is pointing a finger at him in a state of madness as he has a scared look on his face and is using a scared tone of voice):  "Wait a minute now, I saw ya, hold it a minute, yes, where did you get that medal?"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is now putting back on his cap and is walking forwards to Gus as he is now grabbing Gus by his shoulders.

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef now has a look of pride on his face as he is using a low and proud tone of voice):  "Aaaaah, my buddy, where did I get that medal?  haaaha, haaaha, haaaha, that my boy, is a long story.  The sack of Humatan, Walt Woooo, we move forward, prior to attack."  {Here we see the Chef playing his hand like a bugle as Gus has a mischievous look on his face as he is now making drum rolls with his hands}.

All the while as the Chef was telling Gus his story, Gus was standing there with a really happ and devilish look on his face and was saying, 'yes-yes,' to everything the Chef was saying.

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is now in a total state of madness and outrage is now hitting himself on his chest in madness as he is also waving his hands in madness as he is now grabbing Gus by his throat like he is going to strangle him and is dragging Gus to the floor in total outrageness as the Chef now slices off some of Gus' hair):  "See, then we move in and we kill, and we kill them good.  There we are, we get them!"

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus is standing there with a horrified look of fear and panic on his face as he is saying to the Chef in a panicking tone of voice):  "Aaaaah, aaaaah, look out, look out, look out there, let go of that, look out there!"

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus now has a look of startleness on his face and is shouting in a scared and startled voice about noticing his hair):  "Whoa, what did you do there?"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is holding Gus' hair and is saying to him in a mad and slightly mischievous and apologetic voice):  "Was that your hair?"

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus is looking at him in madness and says to him in a furious tone of voice):  "Yes!"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is now taking hold of his head and is kissing him very apologetically on his forehead as he is saying to him in a very apologetic voice):  "Aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaaah, Monsieur, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus is now pushing himself away from him and has a mad look on his face and is using a mad voice):  "Look out, look out, look out!"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is now mischievously handing Gus back his portion of hair):  "Here, Monsieur, I'm so sorry!"

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus has a really mad look on his face and is using a mad tone of voice as he is tossing his hair to the floor):  "Look out, look out, let it alone!"

We now see the Chef grabbing Gus by his arm in a state of outrage as the Chef is now back to telling Gus the rest of his story in a state of furry.

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef has a mad and wicked look on his face as he is pounding his chest in total outrage as he is using hand gestures for severe madness):  "Hey look, the enemy comes!"

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus has a mean look on his face and is using a mad voice):  "Yes, so!?"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is still having his demented fit waving his arms in all directions and is finishing his story):  "All at once, sklitt, sklitt, sklitt, sklitt, sklitt, sklitt, sklitt, sklitt, {Here we see the Chef taking a finger and pulling it across his throat like slicing open the enemies throats}; a bomb comes, it breaks my gun, it breaks my bayonette, and aaaaah, the enemy comes charging.  What am I to do, what am I to do?" {Here the Chef hits Gus in his chest and causes Gus to slightly loose his balance}.

GUS DOAKS {To The Outraged} CHEF:  (As Gus is looking at him with a scared look on his face as he is using a worried voice):  "But, what?"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is now wildly tossing chopped cabbage and other varities of veggies at him in a state of outrage as he is saying madly):  "We are in part, then we charge, and I break them up and......"

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus is now backing up quickly from the wild vegging flinging Chef in madness as Gus is saying to him in a mad tone of voice):  "Look out, look out, look out there, cut it out!"

We now see Oscar the Restaurant Manager entering the kitchen in a state of madness as he is now getting cremated in the kisser by some flying cabbage from the outraged Chef.

OSCAR the RESTAURANT to THE CHEF and GUS DOAKS:  (As he is wickedly shouting at them with an evil look on his face):  "Gentlemen, gentlemen, quit this, stop this, who is to blame here, what are you doing?  Stop this, what is going on here?"

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER {To The Demented} CHEF:  (As the Manager has a really wicked look on his face as he is shouting evily at him):  "You, go back and prepare Hunchabakin!"

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to GUS DOAKS:  (As Gus is standing there with a really blank and scared look on his face as he is now back in a state of professionalism):  "And, you, get out there and get a lead of meat, or you're fired!"

GUS DOAKS to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As Gus is now marching in place and saluting him sarcastically as Gus is picking up a bottle of champagne and a silver serving tray says to him mischievously):  "Comin, yes sir, goin' right out!"

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As he is now outraged to the enth-degree as he is giving Gus a swift boot in his keester and is shouting wickedly to him):  "Stop playing, and get out there, and get some work done.  I'm tired of this goofing off of yours!"

GUS DOAKS to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As Gus is saying to him madly about being booted in the keester and with a mad look on his face):  "Cut that out!"

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Restaurant Manger is still in a furious state and is shouting at him through the kitchen door):  "I am thoroughly mad at you.  I will fire you the next time you do this!"

We now see Gus staggering out of the kitchen trying to regain his balance as we see the Chef thoroughly disgusted with the Restaurant Manage at the way he treated Gus as the Chef is now throwing a mixing dish at him hitting him hard in the coconut causing him to go flying through the kitchen doors.

We are now back outside where we see Majour Bedd and Molly sitting at their table smiling and gleefully joking around with one another and sipping on their champagne as Gus is now clumsily staggering backwards out of the main entrance door still holding his serving tray and a well shaken bottle of champagne as he now falls backwards into Majour Bedd causing him to spill his glass of champagne down his suit as Gus has now dropped his tray.

MAJOUR BEDD to GUS DOAKS:  (As Gus is standing up from picking up the tray and the Majour has a really disgusted look on his face as he is patting his chest in a state of outrage as he is shouting at Gus):  "Hey, this is an outrage, look, you ruined my uniform.  I'll have you discarded.  The idea of doing this to a Majour!"

GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Gus is now adding insult to injury as Gus has now removed his thumb fro the top of the well shaken champagne bottle and is spraying the Majour with it as he is looking at him with a mad look on his face and is using a mad tone of voice):  "Now, wait a minute, will ya, now wait a minute, what is this here?"

MAJOUR BEDD to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Majour is now using hand gestures for madness as he has a wicked look on his face and is shouting at Gus wickedly):  "How, dare......!"

GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Gus is now interrupting the Majour as he is still holding the serving tray and champagne bottle with a mad look on his face as he is saying to him in a mad voice):  "Wait a minute, this might have been hot soup!"

MAJOUR BEDD to GUS DOAKS:  (As Majour Bedd is standing there with a really disgusted look on his face as he is using hand motion to support disgust and is shouting at him in total outrage):  "Oh, you, Block-Head, you!"

GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Gus is standing there with a disgusted look on his face as he is waving his hands in thorough disgustedness as he is shouting back at him in a wicked voice);  "Don't tell me, now hold on!"

All the while that Majour Bedd and Gus Doaks were having there little tit-for-tat, Molly was sitting at the table with her hands raised in fear and a horrified look of fear and panic on his face.

We now see the horribly outraged Restaurant Manager coming on the scene as he is now taking his handkerchief and is wiping down his uniform in apology and outrageousness.

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As he is standing there in a horrified state of panic as he is apologizing to him like there's no tomorrow in a state of panic):  "Oh, oh, Majour, I'm so sorry, this is a total disgrace!"

MAJOUR BEDD to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As he is waving his hands in madness and has a really panicked out look on his face as he is shouting at him in a fit of outrage):  "He ruined my uniform, how dare you!"

Now we see Molly sitting there with a horrifed look of disgust on her face as Majour Bedd is now madly picking up his chair and setting it up right and is sitting down in a disgusted state.  Gus is still standing there with a wicked look on his face as he is still spraying everyone with his champagne {gat}, with a mad look on his face as Oscar is now placing his hands on his waist and is looking at Gus in a throrough state of madness.

GUS DOAKS:  (As he is walking around in circles and is talking to himself in a mad voice as he is still spraying champagne all over the place):  "Cut it out, did you ordure this?" {Here we see Gus looking at another table of guests as he is nervously asking them if they ordured the other bottle of champagne}.

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Restaurant Manager is standing there shouting at him wickedly and is supporting an evil look on his face as he is pointing a finger in the direction of the kitchen, while Gus is standing there with a dumbfounded look on his face):  "This is it, this is disgust, get in there!"

GUS DOAKS to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As Gus is standing there with a wiry grin on his face as he is now spraying himself with some of the champagne and is saying to him in a mischievous tone of voice);  "Well, give it to me!"

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to GUS DOAKS:  (As he is standing there looking at Gus very disgustedly and is still pointing a finger in the direction of the kitchen and is shouting at him wickedly):  "Get out, get out!"

GUS DOAKS to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As Gus is now turning to go back to the kitchen with a really mad look on his face as he is mumbling at him in a low and wicked voice):  "Get out, I'll get it out, I'll get it out!"

We now see Gus walking madly back to the kitchen as the Restaurant Manager in utter outrage is now administering his second swift boot in his keester.

GUS DOAKS to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As Gus has now turned around and is giving him a really filthy look and is saying to him in a low and disgusted tone of voice):  "Cut that out, will ya?  Cut it out!"

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Restaurant Manager is standing there with his left hand on his waist and is waving his right hand in total disgust as he is shouting wickedly at Gus):  "Now, I only owe you one more!"

GUS DOAKS to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As Gus is now high tailing back to the kitchen and is saying to him in a wicked and mischievous tone of voice):  "Yeah, I'll fix you up!"

Gus is now entering back into the kitchen being chased by the thoroughly outraged Restaurant Manager as Gus has now set down his champagne bottle on the Chef's preparations table.

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus is pointing a finger at the serving tray of "FOOD?" and is aking him in a mischievous tone of voice):  "Hey, Chef, what is that? A chicken or a pheasant?"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is looking at him with a happy look on his face and is asking him in a mischievous tone of voice):  "Well, what did your customer ordure?"

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus is now looking at the ordure ticket with a dumbfounded look on his face as he is saying to him in a mischievous voice):  "A pheasant!"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is standing at his preparations block happily preparing meals as he is saying to Gus in a really mischievous and happy tone of voice):  "Okay, then, it's a pheasant, heee, heee, heee, heee, heee, heee, heee, heee!"

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus is looking at him with a look of mischief on his face as he is now placing a lid on a serving tray that supposedly has a pheasant underneath it, but in reality, it is a beautiful little KITTEN as Gus is saying to him in a happy tone of voice):  "Say, there is a guy out there with a string of medaly about this long; {Here Gus is using hand gestures to show a size length of about one foot}.  Oh, boy, if I could only borrow them for two weeks, would I get respect in Camp tomorrow, hoo-hoo, would I get it!"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is standing there laughing hysterically as he has a look of bewilderment on his face and is saying to him mischievously):  "That is not to be the way to, aaaaah, get your medals!"

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus is standing there with a sheepish look on his face as he is scratching his head like he is thinking and is saying to him in a low and mischievous voice):  "Maybe, ther's another way of gettin' medals!"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is standing there with a look of dismay on his face as he has now gently slapped Gus on his arm and is saying to him in a quiet tone of voice):  "Oh, no, hurry up and serve the customer.  Hurry up-up-up-up-up-up':  {Here once again the Chef is using his chattering chipmunk style of a voice).

GUS DOAKS to THE CHEF:  (As Gus now has his "PHEASANT, OOOPS-KITTEN" on the serving tray and is sliding sideways out of the kitchen and has a worried look on his face as he is using a slightly scared tone of voice):  "Quit that comedy act there, cut out there, cut it out, I see, I see ya there, cut it out!"

CHEF to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Chef is looking at Gus with a look of mischief on his face as he is saying to him in his chattering chipmunk voice):  "Hup-hup-hup-hup-hup-hup-hup-hup, hurry it up there, hurry it up, hup-hup-hup-hup-hup-hup, that's it, forward, Doaks!"

We are now back outside at the table of Majour Bedd and Molly as they are happily waiting their meals.  Gus is now proudly bringing out his entreé as he is now "LETTING THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG!"

GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Gus is looking at the Majour with a look of glee on his face as he is saying to him in a cheerful and professional voice):  "I got you a swell portion, all white meat.  I know when you get the cheque you will take care of me, so I took care of you!"

MAJOUR BEDD to GUS DOAKS:  (As he is looking at him with a dazed look on his face as he is asking him in a dazed and questionable voice):  "Is it nice and tender?"

GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Gus is looking at him with a mischievous look on his face as he is saying to him in a devilish voice):  "It's the cats meow!"

We now see Gus removing the lid from the serving tray as the beautiful KITTEN now comes running out as we see Molly sitting there with a scared look on her face as Gus is now diving over the table totally upsetting it as he is now chasing after the kitten, as Gus has now broken all the dish and glass ware, getting the table turned over on himself.  Majour Bedd has now stood up in a state of total outrage about the incident.

MAJOUR BEDD to GUS DOAKS:  (As he is now standing there outraged to the enth-degree as he is screaming wickedly at the top of his lungs at Gus):  "Oscar, what is this, Oscar, Oscar, look at that, look at me, this is an outrage.  I'll never enter your place again!"

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Oscar is now in a total state of outrage and furry is saying to him in a very begging and really apologetic tone of voice as he is waving his hands in a fit of outrage):  "Ooooh, Monsieur, I am so sorry, Monsieur, so, so, sorry please don't leave!"

All the while that Majour Bedd was having his tin hissie fit of outrageousness we saw another couple standing up at their table totally disgusted with the whole thing as they are now leaving.

Gus is now taking a napkin and is now brushing off Majour Bedd's uniform as Gus has now "Five Finger Discounted" the Majour's set of medals.

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As he is now placing his hat on his head and is fuming at the mouth and is storming out of there in thorough disgust and madness as he is extending his arm for her to hold on to):  "Come, darling!"

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As he is standing there crying and begging him not  to leave is saying to him in a really sad and apologetic voice):  "Ooooh, Monsieur, please don't leave, I will miss you!"

GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Gus is standing there with a devious look on his face as he is holding his medals in his hand is saying to him in a wicked and mischievous tone of voice as Gus is pointing a finger at his uniform jacket):  "Just a minute, Majour, haven't you forgotten something?"

MAJOUR BEDD to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Majour is looking at him with a really filthy and evil look on his face as he is saying to him in a devious tone of voice):  "YES!" {Here we see Majour Bedd giving Gus a good swift, hard smack on his kisser}.  "And I never caught my life again!"

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As he is leaving in a total outrage as he has a really mean and wicked look on his face):  "Come, darling!"

We now see Majour Bedd with Molly holding onto his arm as the two of them are now furiously storming out of there in utter disgust and madness.

All the while that Gus Doaks and Majour Bedd were having their second fuming fight we saw a third table of guests standing there watching the entir procedings with horrible looks of fear and panic on their faces.

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to GUS DOAKS:  (As the Restaurant Manager is looking at him with a really filthy and demented look on his face as he is shouting at him in a really demented tone of voice):  "Now, see what you done, you eliminated out my best customers!"

GUS DOAKS to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As Gus is standing there with a really hurtful look on his face as he is saying to him in a really hurtful and very apologetic tone of voice):  "I'm sorry boss, but I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown, look at my mouth;" {Here we see Gus rolling his eyes around in his head as he is shaking his lips in and outwards}.  "Look at my hands, shaking like a leaf:" {Here he is extending his hands forwards and is shaking them to and fro at a quick pace}.  "Give me a chance, in another couple of weeks when I come back, you will see a new man." {Here we see Gus with a scowl look on his face as he is bouncing his arms up and down in a state of pride and promise and confidence}.

OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER to GUS DOAKS:  (As he is looking at Gus with a really demented look on hi face as he is using hand gestures like he wants to strangle Gus as he is shouting at him wickedly as he has now slapped Gus hard on his left arm and once again gives him a departing swift boot in his keester):  "Whe you come back in a couple of weeks, you'll see a new man, you're fired!  Get out, now we're even!"

Here we see Oscar going back into the restaurant in a disgusted but yet sort of a happy state.

GUS DOAKS to OSCAR the RESTAURANT MANAGER:  (As Gus is regaining his balance and is giving him a really filthy and evil look and is saying to im in a really sad voice as he is slowly sauntering away):  "Oh, hunha, cut that out will ya?  What, the nerve of that guy!"

Here we see Gus getting ready to toss his napkin to the ground as he now hears the Majour's medals rattling making a sound like a cowbell.  Gus has now cheered up a tad when he has now noticed the medals as he is now wickedly tossing his name badge to the ground; {making a sound like a gong}, as he is now proudly placing up the medals in place of his name badge.

GUS DOAKS:  (To himself as he has a look of grimace, pride on his face and is saluting and marching around in circles in a state of pride):  "Voilá, voilá, here we are, hup-hup, left face, march, why ya!"

We are now in the transitional stage of the life of Gus Doaks as he is going from Civilian Gus Doaks to Private Gus Doaks as we are now on his first day of Training Camp.  Once again it is a beautiful Summer's day, a few wispy Stratous clouds in the blue skye, the sun is in full shine and the trees are in full leafing.  We see the Recruits; {excluding Private Gus Doaks}, standing at sloppy formation as we see a Sergeant walking towards them as he has now stumbled over a rock as the Recruits are now laughing hysterically.

SERGEANT to THE RECRUITS:  (As the Sergeant is standing there with a Corporal by his side as he is shouting at them wickedly):  "Attention!"

The Sergeant is now in the process of taking role call:  "Brown," {Brown, present}; "Swenson," {Swenson, here}.  Doaks, {No answer}." "Doaks!"

SERGEANT to the CORPORAL:  (As the Sergeant is standing there with a mad look on his face as he is shouting at the Corporal in a really mean voice);  "Where is that guy?"

CORPORAL to the SERGEANT:  (As the Corporal is standing there with his head cocked looking towards the skye like he is thinking is saying to the Sergeant in a quizzical tone of voice):  "I don't know Sergeant, he didn't come up on the train with us!"

We now see both the Corporal and the Sergeant along with the other Recruits running madly for their lives as we see a really beat up egg beater of a Model T Ford pulling up smoking, coughing, over heating, and finally has given up the ghost.  We see the Corporal and the Sergeant running for their lives as the Sergeant is now being knocked to the ground from a flying piece of a tire well rim.

SERGEANT to the CORPORAL and the RECRUITS:  (As they all have notice the egg-beater, jaloppy pulling up and is saying to them in a worried state):  "Get out of the way, now!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the OTHER RECRUITS:  (As Private Doaks is standing up in the dead automoscovel and is saluting them as he saying to them in a sarcastic tone of voice):  "All right guys, here we are, boohya!"

We now see Private Gus Doaks getting knocked down by one last and final blast of the transmission over heating as the other Recruits are still high tailing for their lives as we see the Corporal bending over to help up the Sergeant who is still laying on the ground and is giving Private Doaks a wicked eye look.  Gus has now regained his stature as he is sitting on the upper back rim on the back seat of the automoscovel.

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Gus Doaks is still sitting in the automoscovel and is pointing a finger at him as he is saying to him in a really disrespectful tone of voice):  "Hey, Soldier!"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is still sitting on the ground and is looking at him with an evil look as he is shouting back at him in a wicked tone of voice):  "Are you talking to me?"

{Disrespectfu}; PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is still in his dead horselss carriage and is waving a finger at him and is saying to him in a very rude and disrespectful voice):  "Yeah, you, come here!"

We now see the other Recruits standing in the background laughing loudly at Private Gus Doaks and his way of greeting the Sergeant.  The Sergean is now standing up as he is being followed by the Corporal as the two of them are now approaching the disrespectful Private Gus Doaks.

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT and the CORPORAL:  (As Private Doaks is now clumsily getting out of his horseless carriage as he is holding onto a riders crop and is looking at the two of them with a look of disrespectful mischief on his face as he is asking them in a mischievous tone of voice): "Those spurs kind of got me.  Hey, where is the Seven-Hundred and Sixty-Ninth Infantry?"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is standing there along with the Corporal as the two of them ar giving Private Doaks evil looks as the Sergeant is saying to him in a sarcastic and evil tone of voice):  "What does this look like?  The Boy Scouts?  What's your name?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is looking at him deviously and is answering him back in a really disrespectful and slightly mischievous tone of voice):  "Doaks, Gus Doaks!"

The Sergeant has now given the Corporal a quick glance of dismay as the Corporal is looking at him with a look of bewilderment.

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is standing there with a sarcastic look on his face as he is using a really sarcastic voice):  "Oh, so, you're Doaks, I was beginning to get worried about you!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with a slightly embarrassed and sheepish look on his face as he is rubbing his hands together on his riding crop and is saying to the Sergeant in an embarrassed and slightly mischievous voice):  "Well, never worry about little Doaksie, when do we eat?"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is standing there with a really mad look on his face as he is shouting at him in a really mad voice):  "Wait a minute, wait a minute!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with a mischievous look on his face and is using a mischievous voice):  "Where's the golf course around here, maybe I can get in nine holes before lunch." {Here we see Private Gus Doaks reaching into the back seating area of his dead car and is removing a sack of golfing rods}.

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is now meanly punching him in his arm with a finger and then is pointing at his Sergeant stripes with a wicked look on his face and is using a wicked tone of voice):  "Wait a minute, let me put you straight, see that?  Take a look at that!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is still being disrespectful and is standing there looking at him with a devious look on his face as he is saying to him in sarcastic tone of voice in reference to his uniform):  "What are you kicking about?  Look at what they handed me?  I look like a chipmunk.  But I'll get the tailour to fix it like that; {Here we see Private Doaks snapping his fingers}.  "Oh boy, this is the life, ain't it?"

We now see Private Gus Doaks reaching into the back seating area of his dead Model T and is taking out a ukulele and is singing in a happy and mischievous tone of voice as he is shuffling from side to side.

"WHERE DO THE CHICKENS GO AT NIGHT-TIME:"     BY: GUS DOAKS:     {START}:

"Where do the chickens go at night-time, aaaaah, when they hoe-dee-doe-doe, home to roost!"

"WHERE DO THE CHICKENS GO AT NIGHT-TIME:"     BY: GUS DOAKS:     {END}:

Here we hear the other Recruits laughing hysterically at Private Doaks and his song and dance routine.

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT and the CORPORAL:  (As Private Doaks is still in his playful and mischievous mood is now saying to them):  "The life of the party, hot stuff, ain't it?  Where's my bungalow?"

SERGEANT to {Disrespectful}; PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is looking at him with an evil look on his face as he is shouting at him wickedly):  "Bungalow?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is looking at him with a devilish look on his face as he is saying to him in a really disrespectful voice):  "YES!"

We now see the Corporal whispering into the Sergeant's ear in a state of mischief and hoping to get Private Doaks in a heap of trouble for his disrespectfulness about where to put Private Doaks as he has pointed at a little house with a sign above it that reads as follows:

MAJOUR BEDD D.C. or A.C.

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is now playing along with the Corporal's little game of getting Private Doaks in trouble for being so disrespectful to them is saying to him in a very devilish voice and a look of devilment on his face):  "Oh, your bungalow?  We've got that nice little one right over there, fixed up for ya!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is looking at him with a look of mischief on his face as he is responding back to him in a mischievous and slightly sarcastic voice);  "Well, it's a little small, but I guess I can manage!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the CORPORAL:  (As Private Doaks is now being very rude and disrespectful to his is saying to him in a sarcastic voice):  "Boy, take my bags, will ya?"

We now see the Sergeant giving the Corporal an evil eyed and slightly mischievous look as they are now smack dab in the middle of their little game about putting Private Doaks in Majour Bedd's quarters as their way of getting even with him for his very disrespectful attitude.

CORPORAL to PRIVATE DOAKS:  (As the Corporal has an evil look on his face as he is starting to hit him as he is now being stopped by the Sergeant):  "Why, I outta......!?"

SERGEANT to the CORPORAL:  (As the Sergeant is looking at the Corporal with a devious look and is stating to him in a mischievous voice as he has now winked an eye at the Corporal in devilment):  "You heard what the gentleman said, take his bags!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the CORPORAL:  (As Private Doaks is now handing him one of his luggage cases and is saying to him in a ver disrespectful voice):  "Here, take this!"

We now see the very disrespectful Private Gus Doaks handing the very irate Sergeant his luggage cases as the Corporal is now laughing at the Sergeant for being his Porter.

We now see the Sergeant purposely taking Private Doaks' luggage cases to the quarters of Majour Bedd hoping to get even with him for being so surely and disrespectful.  The Sergeant is now being followed by the Corporal as we are seeing and hearing the really happy Private Gus Doaks once again playing his ukulele as he is singing and dancing once again as the rest of the Recruits are standing in the background splitting their ribs in laughter at Private Doaks' shenanigans.

"WHERE DO THE CHICKENS GO AT NIGHT-TIME:"     BY: GUS DOAKS:     {START}:

"Where do the chickens go at night-time, aaaaah, when they hoe-dee-doe-doe, home to roost!"

"WHERE DO THE CHICKENS GO AT NIGHT-TIME:"     BY: GUS DOAKS:     {END}:

We now see Private Doaks holding his riding crop as he, the Sergeant, and the Corporal now entering Majour Bedd's Quarters which Private Doaks thinks are his.  Private Doaks has the Sergeant totting his luggage cases as he is singing and dancing merrily.

POLLY PARROTT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the three of them are now standing on the porch of the Majour's Quarters and he is being greeted by her):  "Aaaawack, aaaawack, aaaawack, aaaawack, aaaawack, aaaawack!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As they are still standing on the porch of Majour Bedd's Quarters as Private Doaks has now noticed the parrott sitting outside on a perch and is asking him with a mischievous look on his face and in a mischievous tone of voice):  "What is that, an unripe owl?  I guess I'll go in and take a shower, and if I feel any betty, I'll come out and do a little drilling with you boys!"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is now looking at him with an evil loo and is saying to him in a sarcastic tone of voice):  "We'll appreciate that very much, won't we?" {Here we see the Sergeant giving the Corporal an evil and mischievous look}.

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is now scratching his head and is looking at him with a wiry smile and is saying to him in a devious tone of voice):  "That's okay, that's okay, give me that!"

We now see Private Doaks and the Sergeant and Corporal at the entrance way door of Majour's Bedd's Quarters that reads:  "PRIVATE!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As he has now noticed the front entrance way dorr and is looking at the Sergeant with a really wicked look on his face as he is stating to him in a really disrespectful and sarcastic voice):  "Hey, what's the idear of just a title, my full name is Private Doaks.  Have Doaks painted on that right away.  I'm expecting some mail!"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is looking at him with an evil look on his face as he is saying to him in a wicked tone of voice):  "Absolutely, positively, Mr. Doaks!"

All the while that Private Doaks and the Sergeant were having their discussion about the door we were hearing Polly in the background saying:  'Whock, whock, whock, whock, whock, whock, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my; whoooocka, whoooocka, whoooocka!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is now entering into what he thinks are his quarters is saying to him in a really disrespectful tone of voice):  "Okay!"

We are now getting a close-up on Polly the Parrott as she is sitting on her perch with a really happy and mischievous look on her face.

POLLY PARROTT to the SERGEANT:  (As Polly is walking to and fro on her perch and is saying in a gleeful and mischievous voice):  "Okee, Doke, Sergeant, Okee, Dokey!"

CORPORAL to SERGEANT:  (As the Corporal has a really scared look on his face as he is saying to the Sergeant in a really scared tone of voice as the two of them are now high tailing away from the Majour's Quarters in a state of fear and panic):  "Here comes the Majour, let's go!"

We now see Private Doaks inside of Majour Bedd's Quarters as he is now putting "The Blue Danube Waltz" on his Victrola and is swaying and humming to it as he is now in the process of putting up his possessions.

We now see Majour Bedd approaching his quarters in a really happy mood as he has now stopped to talk to his parrott.

MAJOUR BEDD to {POLLY}; HIS PARROTT:  (As he is standing there smiling joyfully at the parrott and is asking here in a gleeful tone of voice):  "Heya, hey, hello Pal, anything exciting happen around here while I was away?  haaaha, haaaha, haaaha, haaaha, haaaha, haaaha!?"

POLLY PARROTT to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Polly is still walking to and fro on her perch and is saying to the Majour in a mischievous tone of voice):  "You'll find out, you'll find out, haaaha, haaaha, haaaha, haaaha!"

We are now inside of Majour Bedd's quarters where we see Private Gus Doaks happily dancing and whistling to the music as he is hanging up his clothing wear and putting his other belongings away.  We now are hearing the telephone ringing as we see Private Doaks answering it.

PRIVATE DOAKS to the TELEPHONE:  (As he is walking over and is now sitting down at the Majour's desk and is answering it in a really mischievous tone of voice):  "Who would be calling me so soon?  "Hello? Who's calling? Colonel who? who?, Majour Bedd?  Well if I "Majour Bedd,' lie in it? haaaha, haaaha, haaaha, haaaha.  That's a hot one, haaaha, haaaha, haaaha, haaaha.  How do you like it? haaaha, haaaha, haaaha, haaaha!"

We now see Private Gus Doaks hanging up the telephone and is straightening up his trousers with a perplexed look on his and is now back putting away his belongings.

All the while that Private Doaks was talking on the telephone Majour Bedd was standing outside of his door way entrance listening to see if could figure out who is in his quarters.  Majour Bedd is now entering his quarters.

In a few minutes all hell is going to break loose.  Majour Bedd is now entering his quarters and is finding Private Doaks happily swaying to the music as he is now in the process of finishing hanging up his clothing wear.

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATED DOAKS:  (As the Majour for the time being is not remembering him is saying to him in an evil tone of voice and with a wicked look on his face):  "What are you doing in my quarters?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with his back to him and is saying to him in a mischievous tone of voice):  "What quarters?  They didn't tell me there was going to be two of us in one......"

We now see Private Gus Doaks turning around and shrieking in a state of fear and panic, shouting, whoowha, whoowha, whoowha, whoowha, whoowha, whoowha,' as he is now trying to hide in the closet as he has now noticed that his 'Partner'? is Majour Bedd, the gentlemen he had the previous troubles with at the" MAISON BOZEAU!"

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Majour is now standing there still not at the moment knowing who is in his quarters is saying to him in an evil tone of voice):  "Who gave you a quality to enter my quarters?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is looking at him with a scared look on his face as he is stating in a shaking and sarcastic tone of voice):  "Well, the Sergeant put me in!"

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Majour is still temporarily oblivious to whom he is talking to has a mean look on his face as he is saying to him in a wicked tone of voice):  "The Sergeant did!?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is standing there holding onto a suit jacket with a devious look on his face as he is saying to him in a slight disrespectful and sarcastic voice):  "Yes!"

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Majour is standing there looking at him with a really wicked look on his face as he saying to him in a wicked voice):  "Yes, what?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with a look of bewilderment on his face as he is responding back to him mischievously):  Yes, indeedy!"

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Majour is standing there with the most deranged look on his face as he is shouting at him in a loud and wicked tone of voice):  "When you talk to me say sir, what's your name?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with a really scared look on his face as he is saying to him in a scared and slightly trembling tone of voice):  "Sir, Gus Doaks!"

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Majour is now beyond his wits end mad at him as he is shouting evily to him):  "Soldier, don't you know your rank?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is supporting a sheepish look on his face as he is saying to him in a slightly embarrassed state):  "Yes, Sir, but I can't help it!"

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Majour is now looking at him with a perplexed look on his face as he is asking him in a mean and questionable tone of voice):  "Where, have I seen your face before?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is standing there brushing off his suit jacket with a look of mischief on his face as he is saying in a mischievous tone of voice):  "I was down at Coney Island once, and I......"

We are now getting a close-up on Majour Bedd as the 'light bulb' is now going on in his coconut as he is remembering where he saw Private Doaks before as he is standing there with his eyes popping out of their sockets and his mouth is agait in a state of fear and panic.

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As Majour Bedd has now remembered where he saw him before is waving his hands in sheer madness as he has a really wicked look on his face as he is now interuppting him and is shouting at him in a really demented tone of voice):  "I've got it!  The Waiter!"

We now see Private Gus Doaks screaming at the top of his lungs in fear and panic, 'whoha, whoha, whoha, whoha, whoha,' as he is running at a speed fast enough to break the sound barrier out of Majour Bedd's quarters as he has now thrown his jacket over his face toe devert his attention.  Private Doaks has now slightly lost his balance as he is now completing a full sommersault off of the Majour's porch and is landing flat on his keester at the foot of the stairwell.

We now see Majour Bedd having a tin hissie fit as he is now in the process of now throwing Private Doaks his possessions, starting wiht his luggage cases, then his sack of golfing rods, then his ukulele and last but not least, his Victrola.

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is sitting there with a horrified look of fear on his face and is in a total state of pain as he is now getting hit in his head with his possessions and he is saying to him in a painful voice):  "Ooooooh, cut it out, will ya?  Cut it out!"

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Majour is now so peeved off at Private Doaks is shouting at him wickedly):  "Get out, and stay out!"

Private Gus Doaks is now sitting there on the ground totally spaced out in pain with all of his possessions around him as he is singing in a dazed state:  "Oh, The Man On The Flying Trapeze!"

We now see both the Sergeant and the Corporal now approaching Private Doaks laughing hysterically and slapping their thighs as they knew all along what was in store for him being so disrespectful to the both of them.

It is now the next morning, where we see the Recruits standing at formation for morning role call and details.

SERGEANT to the CORPORAL:  (As he is pointing a finger to an empty place in the line-up of the Recruits and has a quizzical look on his face as he is asking him in a mad and quizzical tone of voice):  "Where's Doaks?"

CORPORAL to SERGEANT:  (As the Corporal is standing there with a serious look on his face as he is saying in a serious tone of voice in answer to his Doaks question):  "He, he, was awful tired and did not want to be disturbed until ten o'clock!"

SERGEANT to CORPORAL:  (As the Corporal is standing there looking at the Sergeant with a serious look on his face as the Sergeant is pointing a finger in his ches in a state of madness as the Sergeant is saying to the Corporal in a really wicked tone of voice):  "Oh, he didn't did he?  Well listen, you go in and wake him up and tell him that the Sergeant would like to have a little talk with him!"

We now see the Corporal putting his rifle on his right shoulder and has given the Sergeant a serious look as he is now marching away in formation to Private Doaks quarters to give him the Sergeants message.

We are now in front of Majour Bedd's Quarters where we see Private Gus Doaks serenading him on his harmonica playing "Yankee Doodle" and is shuffling in beat to the song.  Majour Bedd is now standing on his porch as Private Doaks is now saluting him.

Here we got a quick glimpse of the other Recruits bending slightly forwards with huge grins on their faces as they are now looking at Private Gus Doaks and his harmonica serenading the Majour.

MAJOUR BEDD to the CORPORAL:  (As he is blowing loudly on his whistle and is shouting in a state of panic with a look of panic on his face about Private Doaks pestering him):  "Corporal Of The Guards, give that man ten days in the Guard House!"

CORPORAL to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As the Corporal is standing there in respect and has now saluted the Majour and is saying to him in a respectful tone of voice):  "Yes, Sir!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the CORPORAL:  (As Private Doaks is now turning around and is looking at the Corporal with a perplexed look on his face as he is asking him in a perplexed and questionable tone of voice):  "What did I do?"

CORPORAL to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Corporal is looking at him with a slightly carrying look on his face as he is saying to him in a low and slightly carrying but yet mad voice):  "You know the Majour hates music!"

CORPORAL to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Corporal is taking his harmonica from his hand and is pushing him towards the Guard House with a mad look on his face as he is shouting to him in a really mad tone of voice):  "Come on, give me that, get going!"

We are now back at the line-up of Recruits and the Sergeant.

SERGEANT to the RECRUITS:  (As the Sergeant is standing there with a mad look on his face as he is shouting at them madly):  "Attention!"

We now see Private Gus Doaks joining the Recruits slightly late as he is holding his rifle and is dressed in his uniform with his night-shirt on over top of his uniform.

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is now noticing Private Doaks standing there in his night-shirt and is asking him in a questionable and mad tone of voice):  "Hey, where is your uniform?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks now has an ugly look on his face and is saying to him in a mad and sarcastic tone of voice):  "I got it on underneath, do you think I wanna catch a cold?"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is giving him an evil eyed look and is saying to him in a wicked tone of voice):  "Well take that....., ooooh!"

Here we see the other Recruits standing there laughing hysterically at Private Doaks and his shenanigans.

We now see Private Gus Doaks dropping his rifle on the Sergeants foot as the Sergeant is now grabbing his foot and is rubbing it in pain as he has a look of pain and fear on his face.

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is looking at him with a dazed look on his face as he is asking him in a mad tone of voice):  "Come on, give me a hand with this will ya, Sarge!?"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is now furriously mad at him is now wickedly grabbing his night-shirt and is ripping off of him in a state of a tin hissie fit as he is saying to him madly):  "I'll give you a hand with this!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with a really panicked look on his face as he is saying to him in a really evil tone of voice):  "Look out, take it easy now!"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is so thoroughly disgusted with him is saying to him in a really evil tone of voice as he has now completed ripping off the night-shirt):  "I'll fix you!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is standing there totally outraged and is shouting evilly to him):  "Look out, take it easy, stop that, that was a good dress, cut it out, look at that!"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant has now finished ripping off the night-shirt in a fit of rage has now noticed the Majour's medals hanging out of his shirt pocket is now asking him in a mad tone of voice as he is now holding the medals):  "Where did you get these?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with a mischievous look on his face as he is saying to him in a sarcastic tone of voice):  "At the front!"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is giving him a really filthy look and is asking him in a wicked tone of voice):  "What front?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks now has a really devilish look on his face as he is saying to him in a really mischievous and sarcastic tone of voice):  "At the MAISON BOZEAU!"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is pointing a finger at himself in pride as he is looking at Private Doaks with a quizzical look on his face as he is saying to him in a questionable tone of voice):  "Listen, I was overseas, and I never heard of any place like that, where is it?"

PRIVAT GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks now has a scared look on his face as he is using hand gestures to help explain himself is now explaining to him in a low and scared tone of voice):  "Right off Times Square, you go......"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is now putting the medals in his pocket and is looking at him evily and is using a wicked tone of voice):  "Aaaaah, a phoney ehy?  I'll take care of these myself!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is now thoroughly quaking in his boots from fear as he is saying to the Sergeant and is using a trembling tone of voice):  "You better not, Sarge, I must do......!"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is now rudely interrupting Private Doaks with a disgusted look on his face and is using a disgusted and sarcastic tone of voice):  "Pipe down, get in there.  Now, General, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to start the day off, with a little drill!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with his hands balled up into fists as he has a mad look on his face and is stomping his feet in a little hissie fit and is saying to him in a mad tone of voice):  "But, I haven't had my breakfast yet, this is a swell vacation!"

We now see Private Doaks going back into the line-up with a really wicked look on his face as we now see the Corporal and another Sergeant walking past the first Sergeant and the line-up of Recruits.

SERGEANT; {ONE}; to the CORPORAL:  (As the Sergeant is looking at the Corporal with a questionable look on his face and is asking the Corporal in a serious and questionable tone of voice):  "What did the Majour give him?"

CORPORAL to SERGEANT:  (As the Corporal is standing there with a devious look on his face as he is showing the Sergeant the harmonica and is saying to him in a really mischievous tone of voice):  "Ten days vacation!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with a devious look on his face as he is now bending down and picking up his rifle and is saying in a happy and slightly mischievous tone of voice):  "Vacation!?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is now approaching him with a look of happiness on his face as he has now accidentally poked the Sergeant in his rib-cage with his rifle and is asking him in a happy tone of voice):  "Hey, Sarge, what do I have to do to get that kind of a break?"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is now in a really devious and mischievous mood as he is saying to Private Doaks in a really evil tone of voice):  "Just get in good with the Majour!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is now turning his back to the Sergeant and is shaking from side to side in fear as he has a look of hurt on his face and is saying to him in a really hurtful tone of voice):  "Oooooh, the Majour is mad at me, aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaaah!"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is now showing a so-call tad of kindness to Private Doaks as he is looking at him with a phoney carrying look on his face as he is using a slightly mad and phoney carrying tone of voice as he is now in the process of getting even with him for being so disrespectful before):  "He won't be, if you do what I tell ya.  Take your ukulele and go over to the Majour's bungalow and serenade him, under his window!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is now looking at him with a really gleeful look on his face as he is asking him in a really cheery tone of voice):  "And, will that get me a vacation?"

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is standing there in a really mean and evil state as he is saying to Private Doaks in a really demented tone of voice):  "You're liable to get a commission!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with a really mischievous look on his face and is using a mischievous tone of voice):  "Aaaaah, skip the commission, I'll take straight salary.  Gee, thanks Sergeant, I'll never forget you for this!"

We now see Private Gus Doaks giving the Sergeants hand a kiss as the Sergeant is now hitting him slightly in his kisser with his fist.

SERGEANT to the OTHER RECRUITS:  (As the Sergeant is standing there with a mischievous look on his face as he is proudly holding up the Majour's medals to his chest and is now putting them on as he is shouting in a happy tone of voice):  "Attention!"

We now see the Majour coming out of his Quarters in full dress uniform as he is now placing his cap upon his head.  The Majour is now returning inside his quarters as he is now smiling happily as he is now hearing the ringing of his telephone.

MAJOUR BEDD to the TELEPHONE:  (As he is sitting there with a really joyful look on his face as he saying in a really gleeful tone of voice as he is now talking to Molly):  "Hello darling, unha, I'm glad you called me back, unhuma, yes, I got rid of that harmonica player, gave him ten days!"

We are now outside of the Majour's Quarters where we see the poor, innocent Private Gus Doaks tuning up his ukulele and is getting ready to serenade the Majour not knowing as of now that he will be getting ten days in the "COOLER" as he is thinking that this will make amends betwixt him and the Majour; {As he has now temporarily forgotten the Majour despises all music}.

"MY DIXIE GIRL:"     BY:  PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:     {START}:

{As he is merrily singing and doing a soft-shoe style of a shuffle dance}.

I want a girl back to take to my little home in Dixie, roe-toe-toe-tee-toe-doe-doe.

{Here we are back in the Majour's Quarters as he is trying to hold a conversation with Molly as Private Doaks is still outside serenading him}.

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As he is sitting there with a really mad look on his face as he is saying to her in a loud and mad tone of voice):  "No, speak louder Honey, I can't hear a word you're saying.  No, no, there's, there's, no woman here, I'm not in a nightclub, Ooooh, the music?  No, no, the music is outside, yeah, wait a minut Honey."

{We are now back outside as Private Doaks is still merrily singing and doing his soft shoe shuffle style of a dance}.

I want a girl to take back to Dixie and my little home.  Hey, hey, go-go, roe-tee-toe, go-go.  And when I get back, I'm gonna celebrate.  My mammie even said she was gonna bake a cake.  When I get back to, when I get back to old Dixieland.

My old sweet home in Dixieland.  I must leave you behind, and I will be crying, yes I will be waiting for you right away.  I have a friend of mine a Majour in the Army, and he will put me in the very front row so I'll get shot ba-zeeba, ba-zeeba, boom, bruuuum, bruuum. {Here we saw Private Doaks tossing a piece of grass like he was tossing a hand grenade}.

{Here we are now seeing the Majour setting down the telephone as he is now on his porch with a really evil look on his face as he is now purturbed to the enth-degree by the serenading Private Doaks.  He is now madly brushing off the dirt that Private Doaks threw at him.  Majour Bedd is now bending over giving Private Doaks a really filthy look because he is absolutely hating the serenading Private Doaks, because as we were told before, the Majour hates all music}.

{We are now returning to Private Doaks' song and dance routine}.

I will tease, will give three tees, I'm a Soldier.  My Suze, if I get shot, I won't be home.

POLLY PARROTT to PRIVATE DOAKS:  (As she is now getting into the act like a wisecracker as she is pacing her perch):  "Heeenha, haaaha, heeenha, haaaha, heeenha, haaaha, heeenha, haaaha, heeenha, haaaha, aaaawka, aaaawka, aaaawka, aaaawka, wiseguy, wiseguy!"

{We now return you to the happy singing and dancing Private Gus Doaks}:

So, make my bed with a goodle, while I go and fight the Yankee Doodle, why good-bye, my Suze Malone.  You heard me 'Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Suze Malone, Pow, Pow.  Wait until you get a load of the pilot.  Hot stuff.

Who is it when you're wounded and everything is still.  Will shake you and wake you just to tak a pill?  Not your mammie, not your pappie......"

"MY DIXIE GIRL:"     BY:  PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:     {END}:

{Here we see Majour Bedd putting an end to the happily singing and dancing Private Doaks as he has now gone back into his quarters as he is getting a rather large-sized Billy-Club and is throwing it at Private Doaks hitting him on his coconut knocking him out cold as Private Doaks is now falling forwards onto his knees and is putting his head to the ground as he is now grabbing and rubbing his head in severe pain.  We are now seeing both the Corporal and the Sergeant coming on the scene and applauding the Majour loudly in approval}.

MAJOUR BEDD to THE GUARDS:  (As the Majour is standing on his porch with a really evil look on his face as he is blowing his whistle loudly and is shouting at the top of his lungs):  "Sergeant Of The Guards, Corporal Of The Guards, arrest this man!"

We now see the Sergeant approaching Majour Bedd in co-operation to the blowing of the whistle.

SERGEANT to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As the Sergeant is standing there with a dazed look on his face as he is saying to the Majour in a very professional voice):  "Yes, Sir!"

MAJOUR BEDD to the SERGEANT:  (As he is now looking at the Sergeant with a bug-eyed look on his face as he is standing there with his mouth agait as he has now noticed that the Sergeant is wearing his medals is shouting dementedly):  "Ordures serving go......, aaaawka, aaaawka, aaaawka, aaaawka, my medals, there they are, aaaawka, aaaawka, aaaawka, aaaawka, aaaawka, aaaawka!"

We now see Majour Bedd putting his medals into his shirt pocket as he is so peeved out at the Sergeant as he has ripped them from the Sergeant.  He is now fuming at the mouth as he is now loudly and wickedly blowing his whistle.

MAJOUR BEDD:  (In a full blown state of demented madness is now shouting in a loud and wicked voice as he is wildly blowing on his whistle):  "Call out The Guards, call out the Artillery, call everybody out!"

We now see Private Doaks standing up staggering in pain from being hit with the Billy-Club as his is singing to the Sergeant vey oblivious to his actions in a spaced out tone of voice as he is extending his hand to him in a friendship handshake):  "Hell mammie, hello pappie, who is it for?"

We now see the Sergeant looking at the totally passed-out Private Gus Doaks with a perplexed and dazed look on his face.

We are now seeing both the Sergeant and Private Doaks on their "VACATION?" as they are now sitting in the slammer as the Sergeant is at the table with a very sad and hurtful look on his face as he is resting his head on his hand.  Private Doaks is standing at a portable washing bowl as he is washing and completing a shaving. 

SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Sergeant is still sitting at the table with his head on his hand and has a reall sad look on his face as he is saying to Privated Doaks in a low and disgusted tone of voice):  "This is a fine situation you got me into.  Seven years in the Army and I'm reduced to a Private.  Why didn't you tell me those were the Majour's medals?"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with a really wicked look on his face as he is shouting back to him in a really evil tone of voice):  "I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen to me.  Didn't I go to work and tell you they were?" {Here we see Private Doaks completing his shave}.

EX-SERGEANT; {New Private}; to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As he is now sitting at the table with a really disgusted look on his face as he is saying to him in a slightly crying voice):  "And, think, I was the Majour's Pet!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the {'New Private'}; EX-SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is standing there finishing wiping the rest of the shaving lather from his face as he is looking at him with a devilish look on his face as he is shouting back at him in a really wicked tone of voice):  "Aaaaah, don't worry, don't worry, this is our last day in here, ain't it?  And if it's the last thing that I do, I am going to get you in good with the Majour!"

EX-SERGEANT; {'New Private'}; to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As The New Private is now standing up with a really thankful look on his face as he is extending his hand out for a friendship handshake is saying to him in a very grateful tone of voice):  "Thanks, Kid!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the EX-SERGEANT; {'New Private'}:  (As Private Doaks is looking at him with a really carrying look on his face as he is saying to him in a low and carrying tone of voice):  "Ooooh, you don't have to worry about me.  I'll look out for you!"

EX-SERGEANT; {'New Private'}; to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Ex-Sergeant is standing there with a really greatful look on his face as he is saying to Private Doaks in a really thankful and considerated voice):  "Okay!"

We now see Private Doaks tossing out his shaving water through the jail bars as we now see, YES, YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE; the Majour storming up to their cell door as he has now been cremated with the dish of water.

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the EX-SERGEANT; {'New Private'}:  (As Private Doaks is now handing him the empty washing bowl with a mischievous look on his face as he is saying in a low and mischievous tone of voice):  "Here, a little soap in my eye!"

We are now once again seeing the poor, innocent, Ex-Sergeant getting in trouble with the Majour over something that was completed by Private Doaks and not himself as the Majour has caught the 'New Private' holding the washings bowl.

MAJOUR BEDD to {The Poor, Innocent}; EX-SERGEANT; {'New Private'}:  (As Majour Bedd has furriously stormed up to the prison gate sopping whet with an evil look on his face as he is holding onto the bars and is shouting at him in a demented voice):  "So, it was you who threw the water, ehy?"

We now see the poor, innocent, Ex-Sergeant standing there swaying to and fro with a really sad and scared look on his face as he is trying hand to hide the washing dish as Private Doaks has now given him a wiry grin.

We are now back on Majour Bedd as he is holding the jail bars swaying to and fro like a demented caged monkey as he is now taking out from his shirt pocket his well water logged whistle as he is now trying to blow it and all's is happening is that water is spraying out of it and is sounds like the chirping of a flock of quiet little birdies.

EX-SERGEANT; {'New Private}; to PRIVATE DOAKS:  (As he is now outrageously mad at him as he is now taking the washings bowl and is hitting Private Doaks hard over the head with it, sending him crashing to the floor as he is saying to Private Doaks in a really demented voice):  "Scum!"

It is now the next day, where we see both the Majour and the Corporal standing in front of their Recruits, as Majour Bedd has now saluted the Corporal.

MAJOUR BEDD to HIS RECRUITS:  (As he is looking at them in a professional manner and is saying to them in a low and serious voice):  "Prepare for Inspection!  O'Brien, hunt, one-two-three-four. {Here we see Private O'Brien cocking the hammer on his rifle as he is now handing it to the Majour for Inspection.  The Majour has now completed his Insepection with O'Brien who has passed with flying colours}.

We are now on another Private as he is having trouble getting the hammer to cock on his rifle as Majour Bedd is standing there with an evil look on his face as he trying hard to be patient as he can be with the Second Private as he now passes him by.

We are now on the Ex-Sergeant, who also has completed inspection with flying colours.

We are now on Private Gus Doaks as he is now having a really hard time at getting the hammer to cock on his rifle as he is now shifting his rifle from hand to hand and now has clumsily dropped it to the ground.  He has now picked it back up as Majour Bedd is now meanly grabbing the rifle from his hands as the two of them are now crashing to the ground.

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is now letting go of his rifle as he is now giving the Majour an evil look and is saying to him in a reall demented tone of voice):  "Look out there, look out, what are you trying......"

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Majour is standing there holding onto Private Doaks' rifle with a mean look on his face as he is shouting to him in a low and very demented tone of voice):  "Hault!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is standing there looking at the Majour with a really evil look on his face as he is saying to him in a demented tone of voice as he is saluting the Majour on his right side of his forehead instead of his left in a mischievous state):  "A wiseguy or something?"

We now see Majour Bedd looking down the barrel of Private Doaks' rifle is now getting sprayed in his face with gun powder as the rifle has now given him the 'RASPBERRY'!

MAJOUR BEDD to the CORPORAL:  (As the Majour is standing there with his kisser covered with gun powder as he is looking at Private Doaks with an evil look as he is wickedly shouting to the Corporal):  "Corporal, take this man, mate!"

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with a really devilish look on his face as he is pointing a thumb at the Ex-Sergeant and is saying to him in a really wicked tone of voice):  "The Ex-Sergeant, will clean my gun!"

EX-SERGEANT; {'New Private'}; to PRIVATE DOAKS:  (As the 'New Private' is standing there looking at Private Doaks with a mean look on his face as he is saying to him in an evil tone of voice):  "Scum!"

MAJOUR BEDD to the CORPORAL:  (As the Majour is standing there looking at both the Ex-Sergeant and Private Doaks with evil looks as he is saying to the Corporal in reference to their behaviour):  "Take this man, too.  I'll have you gone and quartered for this, I'll, I'll, I'll!"

Here we see Majour Bedd in a fit of derangement toss Private Doaks rifle as Private Doaks is now tossing it back as they are now playing 'Odd Man Out' up the barrel of the rifle.

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is now looking at him with a mischievous look on his face as he is saying to him in a mischievous tone of voice):  "Yeah, now go ahead, your chance, all right, that's it, unha, I got ya, I got ya!" {Here we see Private Doaks 'cheating' as he is now pounding down the gun barrel so his hand would end up on top}.

We now see the rest of the Recruits gathering in closer to see what Majour Bedd and Private Doaks were doing as they are now laughing hysterically.

MAJOUR BEDD to the RECRUITS:  (As the Majour is standing there in a really mad state with a really evil look on his face as he is shouting to them wickedly):  "Attention!"

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Majour and the rest of the Recruits are now standing there at attention is shouting at him in an evil manner):  "Close the bolt and snap the trigger!"

Here we see Majour Bedd standing there with a mean look on his face as he is now watching the clumsy Private Doaks fumbling with the bolt of his rifle as he is now pointing his rifle at the Majour and has now disengaged it blowing the Majour's hat right off of his head.

We now see the rest of the Recruits dropping their rifles and high tailing it out of there for safety.

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATE DOAKS: (As the Majour is now standing there really mad to the enth-degree as he is fuming at the mouth and is shouting wickedly to Private Doaks):  "Ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh!"

PRIVATE DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is now standing there with an apologetic look on his face as he is saying to him in an apologetic voice):  "Now, wait a minute, what are you getting excited about?  It was only an accident!"

MAJOUR BEDD to PRIVATE DOAKS:  (As the Majour is standing there waving his hands in madness as he has a wicked look on his face as he is now asking him in a mean voice):  "Hey, Rookie, were you ever drilled before?"

PRIVATE DOAKS to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Private Doaks is standing there with a mischievous look on his face as he is now pointing to one of his fangs and is saying to him in a really mischievous tone of voice):  "Yeah, I had a molar that gave me trouble, right her see!  Right there, with the gold tooth right next to it!"

As Private Doaks was showing Majour Bedd his fixed molare we see the Majour along with the rest of the Recruits coming in to take a closer look at his molar.

MAJOUR BEDD to the RECRUITS:  (As the Majour is standing there so thoroughly disgusted with all of them is now shouting at them in a really mad voice):  "Attention! attention! Now, we'll try it once more!"

We now are seeing a really beautiful 1935 Packard Roadster pulling into camp with three very lovely ladies inside.  The Ladies are now standing up in the car as they are now blowing the horn in a happy state as they have pretty smiles on their faces as they are now waving their handkerchiefs and saying yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, come on over here, you want a ride?" in a flirtatious manner to get the attention of the recruits.

We are now see the Recruits as they are now forgetting everything they have learned during their training sessions as they are now looking back at the three beautiful ladies with flirtatious looks on their faces as they are now saying back to them with sweet and flirtatious smiles on their faces and in flirting unison are saying, 'yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo!

BEAUTIFUL LADIES to the RECRUITS:  (As they are still standing in their beautiful Packard Roadster with sweet and flirtatious look on their face as they are saying to them in flirty voices):  "Yoo-hoo, come on!"

MAJOUR BEDD to his RECRUITS:  (As the Majour is standing there with a really evil look on his face as he is shouting at them in a really mean and nasty tone of voice):  "Attention!  Where do you think you are?  At a picnic?  You're in the Army now.  So forget all about women until your training is over!"

We now see Molly pulling into camp also in a 1935 Packard Roadster as she has a really beautiful smile on her face as she is dressed in a white cotton dress with a white ribbon in her hair as she is now standing up and is waving her hand in a flirtatious manner.

MOLLY to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As she is looking at him with a really sweet lovey-dovey look on her face as she is now yelling at him in a flirty tone of voice):  "Yoo-hoo, snookums!"

Once again, we now see the Recruits along with Majour Bedd forgetting all their training lessons as they are now waving their hats and with sweet and flirtatious looks on their faces as they are now shouting back at her in flirtatious unison voices as they are now joyfully running up to greet her:  "Hi Molly, how are you?"

MAJOUR BEDD to his RECRUITS:  (As he has now regained his composure temporarily and is shouting at them with a really wicked tone of voice as he has a wicked look on his face):  "Hey, attention!, get back into the ranks.  I'm the Majour of this Outfit and what I say goes, you're taking ordures from me.  Hault, right, hep!"

Here we are now seeing the Recruits shouldering their arms as they are now in a sloppy formation as they are marching off to their rights.

MAJOUR BEDD to his RECRUITS:  (As he now shouting at them in a mean voice):  "Hault! Left! Hep!"

Here we now see the Recruits marching sloppily to their lefts still shouldering their arms. 

Majour Bedd now has his Recruits marching in formation as he is now sneaking off the see Molly.

MOLLY to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As she is still standing in her car with a really lovey-dovey look on her face as she is saying to him in a really sweet voice):  "Oh, Honey, y'all got your medals back!"

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As he is standing there giving her goo-goo eyes as he is saying back to her in a really lovey-dovey tone of voice):  "Yes!"

MOLLY to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As she is still giving him the goo-goo eyes and is saying to him with a huge, sweet smile on her face as she is using a gleeful tone of voice):  "I'm so proud of you!"

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As the Majour is now on round three of asking her in a sweet and mischievous voice with a lovey-dovey look on his face):  "Say, did I ever tell you where I got those medals, Babykins?"

MOLLY to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As she is looking at him with a sweet but yet slightly mean look as she is replying back to him in a lovey but yet slightly mad tone of voice):  "Yes, Baby, you told me that story!"

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As the Majour once again is looking at her with his pouty look on his face as he is saying to her in a sad and pouty tone of voice):  "Aaaaah, aaaaah!"

MAJOUR BEDD to his RECRUITS:  (As the Majour is standing next to Moll as he has a serious look on his face as he is shouting at them in a mean tone of voice):  "To the rear!"

We are now on his Recruits as we are seeing them completing the most sloppiest formation march going as they are now not knowing the commands as some are going right, some to their lefts and others are going forwards.

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As the Majour is looking at her with a really sweet and loving look on his face as he is asking here in a sweet and flirting voice):  "Het, hoooha, did you miss me Honey?  I missed you!"

MOLLY to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As Molly is still standing in her car as she is looking at him with a really sweet goo-goo eyes as she is now responding back to him in a lovey voice):  "Why, darling, of course I missed you!"

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As he is standing there with a reall worried look on his face as he is asking her in a low and worried tone of voice):  "Aaaaah, you wasn't out with the other Majour?"

MOLLY to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As she is looking at him with the most dearing but slightly mad look on her face as she is saying to him in a sweet and carrying tone of voice):  "Ooooh, of course not!"

MAJOUR BEDD to his RECRUITS:  (As he is standing there with a serious look on his face as he is shouting to them in a low and wicked tone of voice):  "Halt, fall down, hep!"

We now got a quick glimpse of his Recruits falling sloppily on their faces to the ground.

MAJOUR BEDD to his RECRUITS:  (As he is supporting a very serious look on his face as he is shouting at them in a mean tone of voice):  "Get up, hep!"

We are now back on his Recruits as they are now sloppily standing up and regaining some sort of a formation. 

All the while that the Majour was shouting commands to his Recruits we saw Molly standing there with a sweet and proudful look on her face for her boyfriend.

MAJOUR BEDD to MOLLY:  (As the Majour is asking her with a look of pride on his face as he is using a proudful tone of voice):  "Is that good, hunha?"

MOLLY to MAJOUR BEDD:  (As she is giving him huge goo-goo eyes as she is saying to him in a low, loving, and proudful voice):  "That's wonderful!"

MAJOUR BEDD to his RECRUITS:  (As the Majour is now shouting out more commands in a more upbeat tone of voice mainly to impress Molly):  "To the rear, hep!"

We now for once are seeing his Recruits marching in a good formation past the Majour's quarters and Polly Parrott.

POLLY PARROTT to the RECRUITS:  (As we are seeing her sitting on her perch with a mischievous look on her face as she is saying to them in a mischievous voice):  "Wock, hault, left face!"

We now see the very gullable bunch of Recruits completing perfectly the commands the parrott gave out thinking it was the Majour giving out the commands.

CORPORAL to the PARROTT:  (As the Corporal is now standing in the sidelines as he is saying in a mean and low voice):  "That dame, is even effecting the Majour's voice!"

WE ARE NOW SEEING THE RECRUITS BEING COMMANDED BY MAJOUR POLLY:

MAJOUR POLLY PARROTT to the RECRUITS:  (As Polly is now perched on Private Doaks gun barrel is saying to them in a mischievous voice):  "Forward march, wock.  Hault!  Fall in."

We now see the Recruits completing a perfect set of command marches not knowing they were being given out by a parrott as they were thinking that the actual Majour Bedd was giving out the commands.  The Recruits are now standing in a large, grassy area as they are now coming to a complete hault.

PRIVATE GUS DOAKS to the EX-SERGEANT:  (As Private Doaks is now standing in the field with his rifle on his left shoulder with Polly perched on it as he he has a mean look on his face as Private Doaks is saying to him in a mad voice):  "What does he think we are?"

EX-SERGEANT to PRIVATE GUS DOAKS:  (As the Ex-Sergeant is now hitting Gus on his shoulder in a state of madness as he has a mad look on his face and is using a mad tone of voice):  "Ordures, is ordures!"

We are now getting a quick glimpse of the mischievous Majour Polly still perched on Private Doaks gun barrel as she is now having the time of her life running this bunch of clowns in circles with her commands.

MAJOUR POLLY PARROTT to her RECRUITS:  (As Polly is now mischievously leading them to a river as the are now marching into it as she is saying to them in a really mischievous tone of voice):  "I said, fall in!"

We faze out "THE OFFICER'S MESS" where we are now seeing the very obedient bunch of {stupid} Recruits now falling flat on their faces in the river as on final command by Majour Polly as they are struggling for shore and she is now flying off of Private Doaks' barrel and is laughing hysterically, 'henhaaa, henhaaa, henhaaa, henhaaa, henhaaa, henhaaa, henhaaa, henhaaa,' at her Recruits for following her commands so wonderfully!