Make 'Em Laugh (The Funny Business of America)
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Released November 15, 1945
Featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
Featuring Moe, Larry and Curly
Columbia
16.8 min. (Short Subject)
16.8 min. (Short Subject)
The boys are radio station janitors being chewed out by their boss. Fleeing from him after a disastrous attempt to repair a radiator, they end up in a recording studio. There, Curly (in drag) is mistaken for an opera singer by a woman who sees the boys lip-synching to a recording made earlier in the day by Alice Andrews (Christine McIntyre). Alice, against her father's wishes, wants a career as a radio singer. Hired to sing at a party that night, the Stooges bump into Signor Spumoni, who recognizes them as fakes. With Alice's help, the boys continue the masquerade... but not if Spumoni has anything to say about it!
This short marks Edward Bernds' writing/directing debut with the Stooges, based on release dates. Actually, Bernds directed A BIRD IN THE HEAD and THE THREE TROUBLEDOERS before this. He was able to convince McCollum and White to push MICRO-PHONIES forward in the release schedule. Ed went on to write and direct numerous Stooges shorts until 1952, when he left after Jules White fired producer Hugh McCollum.
Avg. Rating: 
[9.34/10]
[9.34/10]
Larry Fine
Larry
Jerry Howard
Curly
Moe Howard
Moe
Christine McIntyre
Alice Andrews / Alice Van Doren
Lynton Brent
Mr. Allen
John Tyrrell
Recording engineer
Fred Kelsey
Mr. Dugan
Gino Corrado
Signor Spumoni
Heinie Conklin
Spumoni's pianist
Judy Malcolm
Receptionist
Symona Boniface
Mrs. Bixby
Ted Lorch
Masters
Sam Flint
Mr. Van Doren
Chester Conklin
Pianist at party
Frank Mayo
Party guest
Bess Flowers
Party guest
Unidentified MICRO-PHONIES 1
Studio musicians
Unidentified MICRO-PHONIES 2
Woman in hallway
Unidentified MICRO-PHONIES 3
Mr. Wilks, flirting party guest
Unidentified MICRO-PHONIES 4
Party guests
Edward Bernds
Director
Hugh McCollum
Producer
Edward Bernds
Story and Screenplay
Glen Gano
Director of Photography
Henry Batista
Film Editor
Charles Clague
Art Director
| Prod. No.: | 4044 |
| Shooting Days: | 4 days From: 1945-06-04 To: 1945-06-07 |
|
Transcription by xraffle: 
[The short opens up on a sign that reads: “Radio KGBY.” Next to the sign is a hand clock with the time: 2:36]
[The camera pan down and we see the stooges trying to fix a radiator. Curly and Larry are both working together to unscrew a pipe with a wrench. They are moving the wrench back and forth. We hear Curly and Larry repeatedly say “hmm” as they pull the wrench back and forth]
MOE: [turns around] Wait a minute! You lamebrains can’t do anything right, can ya! [pulls Larry’s hair] Get up out of here! Come on! Get over there. [to Curly] You come over here!
[Larry and Curly switch places]
MOE: Now get to work!
[Larry and Curly continue to move the wrench back and forth]
LARRY: [pulling his end of the wrench] Hmm
CURLY: [pulling his end of the wrench] Hmm
LARRY: [pulling his end of the wrench] Hmm
CURLY: [pulling his end of the wrench] Hmm
MOE: Just a second! Let me have that wrench! Let me have it! You imbeciles!
[Larry hands Moe the wrench, but it slips off his hands and falls on his foot]
MOE: Oh oh oh oh! Oh oh oh oh!
[Moe steps on a pipe on the floor. He slips, falls, and hits his head on the radiator]
CURLY: Ah!
[In the studio right next to where the stooges are working is Alice singing “Voices of Spring.” She is having her song recorded]
ALICE: [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! I hear the voice of spring, I do!
MOE: [revives and hears Alice’s singing] Hey boys! I must be dead. I hear an angel singing.
[Larry and Curly looks at each other as if they think Moe is nuts. They help Moe get up. The stooges see Alice through the glass singing]
ALICE: [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! When the birds return, the skies are blue. Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! Ah ah! Ah ah! Ah ah! Ah ah! Love is like a flower! Ah oh! Ah oh Ah oh ohh! Ohh ohh!
CURLY: My! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Ain’t she pretty!
MOE: Boy, you can say that again!
CURLY: My! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Ain’t she pretty!
MOE: Shut up! [slaps Curly]
CURLY: You said I could!!!
MOE: Shut up! We’re on the air.
CURLY: Hmmm!
ALICE: [singing] Ohhh! The voice of spring is in the air. Ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ahhh!
[A man plays the flute.]
ALICE: [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[The man continues to play the flute. Moe imitates him]
ALICE: [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[The man continues to play the flute. Moe continues to imitate him]
ALICE: [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[The man continues to play the flute. Moe continues to imitate him]
ALICE: [singing] Ah ah ah ah ahhhh! [holds a high note] Ahhhhhhhhhhh! [finishes singing] Ahh ahhhhh!
[Larry pretends to play the piano as the real pianist finishes playing the last note. The song finishes. The stooges applaud. Alice smiles and blows a kiss at the stooges. The stooges look at each other and they point to themselves because each of them think Alice blew the kiss at them. Then, Moe and Curly kiss each other on the cheek. The boss walks in and sees the stooges kissing. He walks up to the stooges. Moe and Larry kiss each other on the cheek and Larry spits. Moe turns around and sees the boss]
MOE: Hi ya boss! I was just starting to put the---
BOSS: I know! I know! [points at the radiator] There’s a radiator. [points to the pipe] And look, there’s a piece of pipe. But the radiator ain’t no good unless it’s connected with the pipe, not one eenie itty bitty good. [yells] You jugheads!!! [The stooges get startled] Get busy and finish this job!
MOE: We ain’t got enough stuff!
BOSS: Well go get it!
[The stooges get startled and they leave to get more stuff]
[Cut to the studio where we see the radio station man give Mr. Allen the record]
RADIO STATION MAN: Here’s your recording, Miss Andrews. And very nice too.
ALICE: Thank you!
MR. ALLEN: [puts the record on the phonograph and leaves it there] I’ll see that Mrs. Bixby hears this record and I hope she’ll hire you for her program. But I still can’t understand why you won’t audition for her in person.
ALICE: Mr. Allen, my name isn’t really Andrews, it’s Van Doren. And I know Mrs. Bixby very well. So, you see, I couldn’t possibly audition for her in person, could I?
MR. ALLEN: I don’t get it.
ALICE: Well, you see, my father doesn’t approve of my being a radio singer, so I have to do it under an assumed name.
MR. ALLEN: Well, I follow you so far.
ALICE: Well, if Mrs. Bixby hires me, my father can’t object because she’s an old family friend, that’s simple enough, isn’t it?
MR. ALLEN: Oh sure, sure. Simple like radar.
ALICE: Uh huh!
[Alice and Mr. Allen approach the door]
MR. ALLEN: I’ll do my best to get the job for you, Miss Andrews.
ALICE: Oh, thank you, Mr. Allen
[Alice and Mr. Allen leave the studio]
[Cut to the stooges walking down the hallway. Moe is holding a big wrench, while Larry and Curly are holding a long pipe over their shoulders. An attractive lady walks by. The stooges stare at her as she walks by. Larry and Curly turn around to watch the attractive lady leave. When they turn around, they accidentally hit Moe in the head with the pipes that’s over their shoulder]
MOE: Oh! [falls on the floor]
[Moe and Larry drop the pipes on the floor and they help Moe get up]
CURLY: What’s the matter?
LARRY: I’m sorry, Moe, it was an accident.
MOE: I know, fellas. Accidents will happen.
LARRY: Sure.
MOE: [lifts his wrench up] Now, you take this wrench.
LARRY: I don’t want it.
[Moe hits Larry and Curly in the head with wrench]
LARRY: Oh!
CURLY: Oh!
[The boss walks in and sees the stooges fighting]
MOE: I’ll murder you!
LARRY: What’s the idea?
[Curly waves his hand back and forth in front of Moe’s face and Moe follows it. Curly turns around and Moe hits Curly in the back of the head with the wrench.]
MOE: Get out!
CURLY: Oh! Oh! [runs into the wall]
MOE: I’ll make powder out of that!
CURLY: Let me alone! What’s the ma---
[The boss approaches the stooges]
BOSS: What’s going on here? [takes the wrench away from Moe] Pick up that stuff and get to work. [to Moe] So help me, this is your last---
[Larry and Curly pick up the pipes on the floor. When the put it over their shoulders, the pipes hit the boss on the head]
BOSS: Oh!!!
[The stooges quickly run away and the boss runs after them with the wrench. The stooges run into a studio, where we see Spumoni playing the violin. Spumoni gets interrupted by the stooges and he starts yelling in Italian]
BOSS: Come back here!
MOE: No no! No wait!
[The boss runs after Moe. They run around Spumoni as he yells in Italian]
MOE: I’ll sue you!
[Spumoni continues to yell in Italian]
MOE: [to the boss] If you hit me with that, I’ll---
[Cut to Larry who runs by the pianist and accidentally knocks him down on the floor]
PIANIST: Oh!
[The pianist crawls under the piano. Curly also is crawling under the piano and he bumps his head against the pianist’s.
PIANIST: Oh!
CURLY: Ruff! Ruff!
PIANIST: Ruff!!
CURLY: Arh! Arh! Arh! [backs away]
[The boss swings the wrench at Moe, but Moe ducks and he accidentally hits Spumoni in the face]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: Ow! Oh oh oh! [falls on the bench and his glasses break]
[The boss tries to climb over the grand piano in order to grab Larry but the piano closes on him]
BOSS: Oh! Ah ah! Ah ah ah!
[Curly is still under the piano. The boss kicks Curly in the face. Curly grabs the boss’ foot and bites his leg]
BOSS: Ow! Ow! [jumps up and the cover of the piano hits him on the head] Oh ho ho ho ho!
MOE: Hahahahaha!
[Spumoni gets up and is really angry]
MOE: Haha! [to Spumoni] Boy! Right on the head.
SIGNOR SPUMONI: Ah! [hits Moe in the head with his fiddle and it breaks]
MOE: Oh!
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [grabs a sword] Now, I’m gonna crush you all in little pieces. Ahh!
[Spumoni tries to attack Moe with the sword, but Moe grabs the microphone stand and uses it to block the sword from hitting him.]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [As he’s attacking Moe with the sword] You break a my glasses! You break a my violin. I’m gonna cut your heads off. [tries to swipe Moe with the sword, but Moe runs away and Spumoni falls on the floor]
[The stooges see Spumoni on the floor]
LARRY: Whoa!
CURLY: Woo!
[The stooges run out of the room]
BOSS: [still stuck in the piano] You lamebrains! Get me out of here!
[Cut to the hallway where we the stooges running.]
CURLY: Woo woo! Woo woo woo woo!
MOE: Ah ah ah!
[The stooges run into Studio B and hide inside. Spumoni walks out of the other room and he doesn’t know where the stooges are. He runs past Studio B]
{Cut to the inside of Studio B]
MOE: We eluded him.
CURLY: Yeah, we got away too.
MOE: Quiet!
[Moe sees a microphone]
MOE: Oh, a micro-phoney.
CURLY: And a phoney at the mike.
MOE: [slaps Curly in the head] Get out of here.
CURLY: Oh! Hmm. Mmm.
[Larry grabs some small cups and bangs it on the table, making a hoofbeat sound. Curly pretends to gallop like a horse]
CURLY: Ho ho ho! [neighs and snorts]
MOE: [in front of the microphone] Quiet, numbskulls. I’m broadcasting.
[Larry grabs a pellet drum and rotates it. He gets scared and puts it back down. Curly blows into a party blowout and the paper rolls onto his face. He gets scared and throws it down]
MOE: [talking on the microphone] Use Gritto, radio friends. The soap that gives your hands that dishpan look. How will the old man know you’ve been working if you hands don’t have that dishpan look, hmm? Hahahahaha! Put a box of Gritto in a glass of water then listen to it fizz.
[Larry honks a horn]
MOE: [Flinches and clears his throat] Dopes! [on the microphone] Remember, Gritto spelled sideways is ottri-guh-guh. [clears his throat] And now Gritto’s own story of Sandra Sandpile and here’s mud in your eye. [to Larry] Music!
[Larry walks up to the phonograph and plays the record]
MOE: [talking on the microphone] Hawk! Who is that stepping off the boulevard down by the chicken house? ‘Tis she. I shall seize her and tie her to the tracks---
[The “Voices of Spring” begins to play on the phonograph. Moe gets startled by the music. Curly walks up to the microphone and he lip-synchs to the record]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! I hear the voice of spring, I do!
[Curly grabs a woman’s garment and wraps himself around in it as he lip-synchs to the record. Moe and Larry help him]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! When the birds return, the skies are blue.
[Cut to Mrs. Bixby who walks up to the receptionist]
RECEPTIONIST: Good afternoon, Mrs. Bixby.
MRS. BIXBY: Good afternoon. I was to audition a singer. Will you tell Mr. Allen that I’m here?
RECEPTIONIST: He left word for you to get to Studio B and he will join you there.
MRS. BIXBY: Very well.
[Cut to Curly who is still lip-synching to the record. Moe is next to him holding a flute]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah ah ahhhh! Ahhh! Ohhh!
[Moe is about to play the flute, but then realizes that it’s not his cue yet]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] The voice of spring is in the air.
[Mrs. Bixby walks by the studio and sees Curly through the glass singing]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ahhh!
[Moe pretends to play the flute, but he accidentally misses his cue]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Moe pretends to play the flute]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Moe pretends to play the flute]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Moe pretends to play the flute]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ahhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Ahh ahhhhh!
[Larry pretends to play the piano. The song ends. Mrs. Bixby enters the studio]
MRS. BIXBY: Senorita, you were marvelous. I enjoyed your singing so much. I’m Mrs. Bixby. Mr. Allen told me he had a wonderful, new personality for my crispy, crunchy program. He was so right.
CURLY: Haaa haaa!
MRS. BIXBY: It’s agreed then. You’ll work for me. I have the contracts right here. [takes out the contract from her purse]
MOE: Now, just a minute, lady!
MRS. BIXBY: I won’t haggle, I’ll double the amount of money.
MOE: Well, I don’t know--- M m money! Did you say money?
CURLY: I remember the stuff.
MOE: What do we do? Where do we sign? [grabs the contract from Mrs. Bixby] Give me those contracts. [clears his throat and says to Curly] Senorita Cucaracha, you sign right here.
MRS. BIXBY: Oh, I just remembered. I’m having a few guests in tonight for a musical party. You must come and sing for them.
MOE: Oh well now, that’s a problem.
MRS. BIXBY: I’ll give you five hundred dollars if you come.
LARRY: Five hundred dollars!
MOE: [to Larry] Who do we have to murder!
LARRY: [to Mrs. Bixby] We’ll be there with bells on.
MRS. BIXBY: Splendid. [leaves]
CURLY: [to Moe] How am I gonna sing at the party?
MOE: The same way as you did here.
[Moe walks up to phonograph and grabs the record]
MOE: [to the record] Oh, what a marvelous voice!
CURLY: Thank you.
MOE: Not you!
[Moe kisses the record]
MOE: [to Curly] Come on, we gotta go shopping. You gotta look nice at the party. Come on.
[The stooges leave the studio and the scene ends]
[A new scene begins in Mrs. Bixby’s house. The butler opens the front door and Moe and Larry walk in.]
BUTLER: Good evening, gentlemen!
MOE: Good evening, Jeeves!
[The door closes as soon as Moe and Larry walk in]
MOE: Just a minute, we came with the lady.
BUTLER: Oh pardon!
[Moe opens the door. Curly walks in. He is dressed as a woman and is wearing a wig]
MOE: Quite a shack, this Bixby joint.
LARRY: Yeah, reminds me of the reform school.
[Moe removes his glove. He removes the finger parts of his glove one by one]
MOE: Jeeves, what time do they service cocktails? [clears his throat]
[Larry removes his glove. The glove has a long sleeve, so Larry takes a while to remove it. Larry hands the butler the glove after he removes it]
[Mrs. Bixby approaches the stooges]
MRS. BIXBY: So happy to have you hear. [to Curly] My dear, would you care to go to the powder room?
[Curly tries to leaves, but Moe grabs him]
MOE: Oh no no! She always looks like that.
CURLY: Hmm.
MRS. BIXBY: Haha. Oh then, come meet my guest.
[The stooges enter the living room]
MRS. BIXBY: Ladies and gentlemen, I have the honor of presenting the great artist, Senorita Cucaracha [Curly smiles at the guests], Senor Mucho [Larry smiles at the guests], and Senor Gusto. [Moe bows]
[Alice sees the stooges and puts her hand on her father in shock]
ALICE’S FATHER: What is it, Alice?
ALICE: Father, I’m sure I know those men.
[An old man approaches Curly]
OLD MAN: Ah, Senorita! I am thrilled. [takes Curly’s hand and kisses it]
CURLY: [scratches his hand] I’m kinda tickled myself. Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk
[Curly takes his handheld fan and he taps the old man in the head with it a few times. He then hits him with it. The old man just laughs]
[Spumoni walks in]
LARRY: [sees Spumoni] Hey, look who’s here!
MOE: [sees Spumoni] We better get out of here. If he spots us, we’re cooked. Come on!
[The stooges walk into the other room]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [walks up to Mrs. Bixby] Oh Mrs. Bixby, I’m so sorry I’m late. I meeta some crazy peoples. They bust my fiddle. They bust my glasses. Mrs. Bixby, you will excuse me. I cannot play my fiddle. I can sing instead, oh?
MRS. BIXBY: Oh, of course, we should be glad to have you sing, Signor.
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [takes out his glasses and shows Mrs. Bixby] Look at my glasses. All broke!
[Cut to the stooges in the other room]
MOE: It’s a good thing he ain’t got his glasses. Maybe he won’t know us.
LARRY: Yeah
[Alice peaks through the curtains and sees the stooges in the other room. She sees Moe take the record out of his jacket and put it in the phonograph]
MOE: Come on.
[The stooges leave the room and walk back into the living room]
MRS. BIXBY: [to Spumoni] I’m sorry about your glasses, Signor. Would you care to sing now?
SIGNOR SPUMONI: Delighted.
[The stooges sit down on the couch. Spumoni walks up to the center of the living room and gets ready to sing. Everyone applauds.]
MOE: [to Larry and Curly] Muscling in on our territory. We gotta do something to stop him.
[The drunk pianist begins playing the piano]
MOE: [sees a bowl of cherries next to him] I got it fellas. Here! [grabs a bunch of cherries and gives some to Larry and Curly]
[Spumoni sings in Italian. As soon as he opens his mouth to sing a high note, Moe flings a cherry and it lands inside Spumoni’s mouth. Spumoni stops singing]
CURLY: Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk.
MOE: That was a shot boy.
[Spumoni starts mumbling in Italian because he’s angry]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [to the drunk pianist] Alright, once a more please.
[The pianist plays again]
MOE: [to Larry] Ok kid.
[Spumoni sings in Italian. As soon as he opens his mouth to sing a high note, Larry flings a cherry and it lands in Spumoni’s mouth. Spumoni starts choking]
MOE: Ha! Alright!
CURLY: Hahahahaha!
[Spumoni looks angry]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [to the drunk pianist] Once more please!
[The pianist plays again]
MOE: [to Larry and Curly] Why don’t he quit? Let’s give him a salvo.
[Spumoni sings in Italian. As soon as he opens his mouth to sing a high note, the stooges simultaneously fling a cherry.]
MOE: Fire!
[All three of the cherries land in Spumoni’s mouth. Spumoni starts choking and gagging. The stooges walk away. Several guests run up to Spumoni and tap him on the back]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: Thank you! Thank you! [sees an old guy with a bowl of cherries in his hand] Cherries, huh!
[Spumoni grabs a bunch of cherries from the bowl and shoves it in the old guys face]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: See how you like that, wise guy? See how you like that?
[The stooges enter the other room]
MOE: Swell, now we gotta clear field.
[Moe grabs the record from the phonograph]
MOE: [to Curly] All we gotta do is knock ‘em dead with your song and we’re in.
CURLY: Just be careful with that record.
MOE: Nothing’s gonna happen to it.
LARRY: Well it might get broke.
MOE: Not with me handling it.
CURLY: Just be careful.
MOE: Shut up! [hits Curly in the head with the record and it breaks]
CURLY: Oh oh oh oh oh!
MOE: With me handling a record, nothing ev--- [waves the record in front of Curly’s face and he sees that it’s broken] Nyahhh! Look what you did. Now, we’re cooked. [drops the record on the floor]
LARRY: [sees a bunch of records on the table next to him] No we ain’t. Look, here’s a lot of records. [grabs a record and gives it to Moe]
MOE: You’re getting a half a brain in your skull now, huh? [reads the label on the record] “Sextet From Lucy.” [to Curly] Can you sing it?
CURLY: I can’t even say it.
MOE: Oh, go on, get set. [pushes Curly]
[Larry and Curly leave as Moe tries to set up the record on the phonograph]
[Cut to Larry and Curly who walk up to the drunk pianist. The drunk pianist is drinking and Larry slaps him in the back causing him to almost choke]
LARRY: Say, you know, “Sextet From Lucy?”
DRUNK PIANIST: [in a slurred manner] Know it? I wrote it!
[Larry does a double take.]
[Moe sets up the record on the phonograph. When he walks out of the other room and enters the living room, he bumps into Spumoni. Spumoni puts his face very close to Moe’s because he’s having a hard time seeing him.]
MOE: Oh, short eyeballs, eh? [clears his throat]
[Moe walks up to the center of the living room and joins Larry and Curly. The pianist begins playing and the stooges lip-synch to the “Sextet From Lucy” record, which is all in Italian. Curly starts off singing, then Moe joins in]
MRS. BIXBY: [to Alice’s father] Ah, Sextet from Lucia!
ALICE’S FATHER: Hmm.
[Larry joins in singing. The stooges all start singing simultaneously in Italian. Spumoni has an annoyed look on his face. He turns his head and sees the record playing on the phonograph. The stooges continue to lip-synch to the record. All the guests look happy with the stooges’ performance. Spumoni walks up to the phonograph and unplugs it. Now, Moe and Larry sing off-key while Curly starts babbling. Moe and Larry stop singing and they grab Curly]
[Mrs. Bixby approaches the stooges. Curly continues babbling]
MRS. BIXBY: My goodness! What happened?
MOE: The senorita’s lost her voice.
[Moe opens Curly’s mouth and looks inside]
MOE: Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk.
MRS. BIXBY: What is it? Laryngitis?
MOE: No, falling arches!
[Dissolve to the stooges sitting in the couch. Moe sprays inside Curly’s mouth. Moe and Larry shrug their shoulders at the guests]
LARRY: [whispers to Moe] Say, I wonder who double-crossed up with that record?
CURLY: I don’t know who did, but I wanna get outta here.
MOE: Quiet! You lost your voice.
CURLY: Where? [looks down on the floor]
[Moe and Larry pushes Curly back]
MOE: Shut up!
[The stooges see Spumoni looking at them and giving them an evil smile. He signals to the stooges that he will cut their throats]
MOE: [holding his neck] Gaaah ah! [to Larry and Curly] Hey, I got a great idea. We better get outta here.
LARRY: Yeah!
[The stooges are about to sneak out of the party, but Alice walks up to them and stops them]
ALICE: Wait! Why did you take my record from the broadcasting station? I wanted that job and you spoiled my chances of getting it. Now, the least thing you can do is to go through with it. I want to prove something to my father.
CURLY: How can we? My voice, I mean, your voice is broken.
ALICE: No, it isn’t. It’s as good a new. Listen. [starts singing high-pitched notes] Ahh. Ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhhhhh. Ahhh ahhh ahh ahh ahh.
[The stooges get scared. Mrs. Bixby hears the singing and she thinks it’s Curly. She walks up to the stooges]
MRS. BIXBY: [to Curly] Oh, my dear, you were wonderful. You’ll sing for us now, won’t you?
ALICE: Of course you will, won’t you?
MRS. BIXBY: Do that number you did at the broadcasting station this afternoon. [to the pianist] Play “Voices of Spring.”
MOE: [clears his throat] This way, Senorita.
[The stooges walk up to the center of the living room]
ALICE: All set?
[Moe winks at Alice]
[The pianist begins playing. Alice hides behind the curtains and sings while Curly lips-synchs]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! I hear the voice of spring, I do! Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! When the birds return, the skies are blue. Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! Ah ah!
MRS. BIXBY: [to Alice’s father] Isn’t it wonderful?
ALICE’S FATHER: It certainly is. Now if Alice can sing like that.
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Love is like a flower! Ah oh! Ah oh Ah oh ohh! Ohh ohh! Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah ah ahhhh! Ahhh! Ohhh!
[Spumoni is wondering what Curly is lip-synching too. He looks at the phonograph and sees that it’s unplugged]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] The voice of spring is in the air. Ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ahhh!
[Moe plays the flute off-key]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Moe plays the flute off-key again]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Moe plays the flute off-key again]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Alice extends her hand. Her hand pops out from behind the curtains and it hits Spumoni in the head. Spumoni turns around and sees Alice hiding behind the curtains and singing]
[Moe plays the flute off-key again]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ahhhh!
[Spumoni takes a banana and squeezes the banana peel. The banana pops out of the peel, it flies across the room and into Curly’s mouth. The guests look shocked]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing a high-note] Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Ahh ahhhhh!
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [opens up the curtains and reveals Alice hiding behind it] Ha ha!
[All the guests look shocked]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [removes Curly’s wig] Look, peoples!! Just a big fake.
[The guests start clamoring]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: Ladies and gentlemen! A big fake!
ALICE: Oh please, please! Wait! [to her father] It wasn’t all their fault. I helped them
ALICE’S FATHER: Why Alice?
ALICE: Oh, I wanted to prove I was good enough to get a job, father.
MRS. BIXBY: And you are, dear. You’re still gonna sing on my program.
[We see the stooges hiding under the piano]
ALICE’S FATHER: Didn’t I say she had a fine voice?
MRS. BIXBY: [turns around] As for these imposters.
CURLY: Oh! Oh oh oh oh oh!
[The stooges crawl out from under the piano. Everyone at the party yells and throws plates at the stooges as they run away and leave.]
--THE END--
[The camera pan down and we see the stooges trying to fix a radiator. Curly and Larry are both working together to unscrew a pipe with a wrench. They are moving the wrench back and forth. We hear Curly and Larry repeatedly say “hmm” as they pull the wrench back and forth]
MOE: [turns around] Wait a minute! You lamebrains can’t do anything right, can ya! [pulls Larry’s hair] Get up out of here! Come on! Get over there. [to Curly] You come over here!
[Larry and Curly switch places]
MOE: Now get to work!
[Larry and Curly continue to move the wrench back and forth]
LARRY: [pulling his end of the wrench] Hmm
CURLY: [pulling his end of the wrench] Hmm
LARRY: [pulling his end of the wrench] Hmm
CURLY: [pulling his end of the wrench] Hmm
MOE: Just a second! Let me have that wrench! Let me have it! You imbeciles!
[Larry hands Moe the wrench, but it slips off his hands and falls on his foot]
MOE: Oh oh oh oh! Oh oh oh oh!
[Moe steps on a pipe on the floor. He slips, falls, and hits his head on the radiator]
CURLY: Ah!
[In the studio right next to where the stooges are working is Alice singing “Voices of Spring.” She is having her song recorded]
ALICE: [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! I hear the voice of spring, I do!
MOE: [revives and hears Alice’s singing] Hey boys! I must be dead. I hear an angel singing.
[Larry and Curly looks at each other as if they think Moe is nuts. They help Moe get up. The stooges see Alice through the glass singing]
ALICE: [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! When the birds return, the skies are blue. Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! Ah ah! Ah ah! Ah ah! Ah ah! Love is like a flower! Ah oh! Ah oh Ah oh ohh! Ohh ohh!
CURLY: My! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Ain’t she pretty!
MOE: Boy, you can say that again!
CURLY: My! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Ain’t she pretty!
MOE: Shut up! [slaps Curly]
CURLY: You said I could!!!
MOE: Shut up! We’re on the air.
CURLY: Hmmm!
ALICE: [singing] Ohhh! The voice of spring is in the air. Ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ahhh!
[A man plays the flute.]
ALICE: [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[The man continues to play the flute. Moe imitates him]
ALICE: [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[The man continues to play the flute. Moe continues to imitate him]
ALICE: [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[The man continues to play the flute. Moe continues to imitate him]
ALICE: [singing] Ah ah ah ah ahhhh! [holds a high note] Ahhhhhhhhhhh! [finishes singing] Ahh ahhhhh!
[Larry pretends to play the piano as the real pianist finishes playing the last note. The song finishes. The stooges applaud. Alice smiles and blows a kiss at the stooges. The stooges look at each other and they point to themselves because each of them think Alice blew the kiss at them. Then, Moe and Curly kiss each other on the cheek. The boss walks in and sees the stooges kissing. He walks up to the stooges. Moe and Larry kiss each other on the cheek and Larry spits. Moe turns around and sees the boss]
MOE: Hi ya boss! I was just starting to put the---
BOSS: I know! I know! [points at the radiator] There’s a radiator. [points to the pipe] And look, there’s a piece of pipe. But the radiator ain’t no good unless it’s connected with the pipe, not one eenie itty bitty good. [yells] You jugheads!!! [The stooges get startled] Get busy and finish this job!
MOE: We ain’t got enough stuff!
BOSS: Well go get it!
[The stooges get startled and they leave to get more stuff]
[Cut to the studio where we see the radio station man give Mr. Allen the record]
RADIO STATION MAN: Here’s your recording, Miss Andrews. And very nice too.
ALICE: Thank you!
MR. ALLEN: [puts the record on the phonograph and leaves it there] I’ll see that Mrs. Bixby hears this record and I hope she’ll hire you for her program. But I still can’t understand why you won’t audition for her in person.
ALICE: Mr. Allen, my name isn’t really Andrews, it’s Van Doren. And I know Mrs. Bixby very well. So, you see, I couldn’t possibly audition for her in person, could I?
MR. ALLEN: I don’t get it.
ALICE: Well, you see, my father doesn’t approve of my being a radio singer, so I have to do it under an assumed name.
MR. ALLEN: Well, I follow you so far.
ALICE: Well, if Mrs. Bixby hires me, my father can’t object because she’s an old family friend, that’s simple enough, isn’t it?
MR. ALLEN: Oh sure, sure. Simple like radar.
ALICE: Uh huh!
[Alice and Mr. Allen approach the door]
MR. ALLEN: I’ll do my best to get the job for you, Miss Andrews.
ALICE: Oh, thank you, Mr. Allen
[Alice and Mr. Allen leave the studio]
[Cut to the stooges walking down the hallway. Moe is holding a big wrench, while Larry and Curly are holding a long pipe over their shoulders. An attractive lady walks by. The stooges stare at her as she walks by. Larry and Curly turn around to watch the attractive lady leave. When they turn around, they accidentally hit Moe in the head with the pipes that’s over their shoulder]
MOE: Oh! [falls on the floor]
[Moe and Larry drop the pipes on the floor and they help Moe get up]
CURLY: What’s the matter?
LARRY: I’m sorry, Moe, it was an accident.
MOE: I know, fellas. Accidents will happen.
LARRY: Sure.
MOE: [lifts his wrench up] Now, you take this wrench.
LARRY: I don’t want it.
[Moe hits Larry and Curly in the head with wrench]
LARRY: Oh!
CURLY: Oh!
[The boss walks in and sees the stooges fighting]
MOE: I’ll murder you!
LARRY: What’s the idea?
[Curly waves his hand back and forth in front of Moe’s face and Moe follows it. Curly turns around and Moe hits Curly in the back of the head with the wrench.]
MOE: Get out!
CURLY: Oh! Oh! [runs into the wall]
MOE: I’ll make powder out of that!
CURLY: Let me alone! What’s the ma---
[The boss approaches the stooges]
BOSS: What’s going on here? [takes the wrench away from Moe] Pick up that stuff and get to work. [to Moe] So help me, this is your last---
[Larry and Curly pick up the pipes on the floor. When the put it over their shoulders, the pipes hit the boss on the head]
BOSS: Oh!!!
[The stooges quickly run away and the boss runs after them with the wrench. The stooges run into a studio, where we see Spumoni playing the violin. Spumoni gets interrupted by the stooges and he starts yelling in Italian]
BOSS: Come back here!
MOE: No no! No wait!
[The boss runs after Moe. They run around Spumoni as he yells in Italian]
MOE: I’ll sue you!
[Spumoni continues to yell in Italian]
MOE: [to the boss] If you hit me with that, I’ll---
[Cut to Larry who runs by the pianist and accidentally knocks him down on the floor]
PIANIST: Oh!
[The pianist crawls under the piano. Curly also is crawling under the piano and he bumps his head against the pianist’s.
PIANIST: Oh!
CURLY: Ruff! Ruff!
PIANIST: Ruff!!
CURLY: Arh! Arh! Arh! [backs away]
[The boss swings the wrench at Moe, but Moe ducks and he accidentally hits Spumoni in the face]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: Ow! Oh oh oh! [falls on the bench and his glasses break]
[The boss tries to climb over the grand piano in order to grab Larry but the piano closes on him]
BOSS: Oh! Ah ah! Ah ah ah!
[Curly is still under the piano. The boss kicks Curly in the face. Curly grabs the boss’ foot and bites his leg]
BOSS: Ow! Ow! [jumps up and the cover of the piano hits him on the head] Oh ho ho ho ho!
MOE: Hahahahaha!
[Spumoni gets up and is really angry]
MOE: Haha! [to Spumoni] Boy! Right on the head.
SIGNOR SPUMONI: Ah! [hits Moe in the head with his fiddle and it breaks]
MOE: Oh!
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [grabs a sword] Now, I’m gonna crush you all in little pieces. Ahh!
[Spumoni tries to attack Moe with the sword, but Moe grabs the microphone stand and uses it to block the sword from hitting him.]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [As he’s attacking Moe with the sword] You break a my glasses! You break a my violin. I’m gonna cut your heads off. [tries to swipe Moe with the sword, but Moe runs away and Spumoni falls on the floor]
[The stooges see Spumoni on the floor]
LARRY: Whoa!
CURLY: Woo!
[The stooges run out of the room]
BOSS: [still stuck in the piano] You lamebrains! Get me out of here!
[Cut to the hallway where we the stooges running.]
CURLY: Woo woo! Woo woo woo woo!
MOE: Ah ah ah!
[The stooges run into Studio B and hide inside. Spumoni walks out of the other room and he doesn’t know where the stooges are. He runs past Studio B]
{Cut to the inside of Studio B]
MOE: We eluded him.
CURLY: Yeah, we got away too.
MOE: Quiet!
[Moe sees a microphone]
MOE: Oh, a micro-phoney.
CURLY: And a phoney at the mike.
MOE: [slaps Curly in the head] Get out of here.
CURLY: Oh! Hmm. Mmm.
[Larry grabs some small cups and bangs it on the table, making a hoofbeat sound. Curly pretends to gallop like a horse]
CURLY: Ho ho ho! [neighs and snorts]
MOE: [in front of the microphone] Quiet, numbskulls. I’m broadcasting.
[Larry grabs a pellet drum and rotates it. He gets scared and puts it back down. Curly blows into a party blowout and the paper rolls onto his face. He gets scared and throws it down]
MOE: [talking on the microphone] Use Gritto, radio friends. The soap that gives your hands that dishpan look. How will the old man know you’ve been working if you hands don’t have that dishpan look, hmm? Hahahahaha! Put a box of Gritto in a glass of water then listen to it fizz.
[Larry honks a horn]
MOE: [Flinches and clears his throat] Dopes! [on the microphone] Remember, Gritto spelled sideways is ottri-guh-guh. [clears his throat] And now Gritto’s own story of Sandra Sandpile and here’s mud in your eye. [to Larry] Music!
[Larry walks up to the phonograph and plays the record]
MOE: [talking on the microphone] Hawk! Who is that stepping off the boulevard down by the chicken house? ‘Tis she. I shall seize her and tie her to the tracks---
[The “Voices of Spring” begins to play on the phonograph. Moe gets startled by the music. Curly walks up to the microphone and he lip-synchs to the record]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! I hear the voice of spring, I do!
[Curly grabs a woman’s garment and wraps himself around in it as he lip-synchs to the record. Moe and Larry help him]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! When the birds return, the skies are blue.
[Cut to Mrs. Bixby who walks up to the receptionist]
RECEPTIONIST: Good afternoon, Mrs. Bixby.
MRS. BIXBY: Good afternoon. I was to audition a singer. Will you tell Mr. Allen that I’m here?
RECEPTIONIST: He left word for you to get to Studio B and he will join you there.
MRS. BIXBY: Very well.
[Cut to Curly who is still lip-synching to the record. Moe is next to him holding a flute]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah ah ahhhh! Ahhh! Ohhh!
[Moe is about to play the flute, but then realizes that it’s not his cue yet]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] The voice of spring is in the air.
[Mrs. Bixby walks by the studio and sees Curly through the glass singing]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ahhh!
[Moe pretends to play the flute, but he accidentally misses his cue]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Moe pretends to play the flute]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Moe pretends to play the flute]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Moe pretends to play the flute]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ahhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Ahh ahhhhh!
[Larry pretends to play the piano. The song ends. Mrs. Bixby enters the studio]
MRS. BIXBY: Senorita, you were marvelous. I enjoyed your singing so much. I’m Mrs. Bixby. Mr. Allen told me he had a wonderful, new personality for my crispy, crunchy program. He was so right.
CURLY: Haaa haaa!
MRS. BIXBY: It’s agreed then. You’ll work for me. I have the contracts right here. [takes out the contract from her purse]
MOE: Now, just a minute, lady!
MRS. BIXBY: I won’t haggle, I’ll double the amount of money.
MOE: Well, I don’t know--- M m money! Did you say money?
CURLY: I remember the stuff.
MOE: What do we do? Where do we sign? [grabs the contract from Mrs. Bixby] Give me those contracts. [clears his throat and says to Curly] Senorita Cucaracha, you sign right here.
MRS. BIXBY: Oh, I just remembered. I’m having a few guests in tonight for a musical party. You must come and sing for them.
MOE: Oh well now, that’s a problem.
MRS. BIXBY: I’ll give you five hundred dollars if you come.
LARRY: Five hundred dollars!
MOE: [to Larry] Who do we have to murder!
LARRY: [to Mrs. Bixby] We’ll be there with bells on.
MRS. BIXBY: Splendid. [leaves]
CURLY: [to Moe] How am I gonna sing at the party?
MOE: The same way as you did here.
[Moe walks up to phonograph and grabs the record]
MOE: [to the record] Oh, what a marvelous voice!
CURLY: Thank you.
MOE: Not you!
[Moe kisses the record]
MOE: [to Curly] Come on, we gotta go shopping. You gotta look nice at the party. Come on.
[The stooges leave the studio and the scene ends]
[A new scene begins in Mrs. Bixby’s house. The butler opens the front door and Moe and Larry walk in.]
BUTLER: Good evening, gentlemen!
MOE: Good evening, Jeeves!
[The door closes as soon as Moe and Larry walk in]
MOE: Just a minute, we came with the lady.
BUTLER: Oh pardon!
[Moe opens the door. Curly walks in. He is dressed as a woman and is wearing a wig]
MOE: Quite a shack, this Bixby joint.
LARRY: Yeah, reminds me of the reform school.
[Moe removes his glove. He removes the finger parts of his glove one by one]
MOE: Jeeves, what time do they service cocktails? [clears his throat]
[Larry removes his glove. The glove has a long sleeve, so Larry takes a while to remove it. Larry hands the butler the glove after he removes it]
[Mrs. Bixby approaches the stooges]
MRS. BIXBY: So happy to have you hear. [to Curly] My dear, would you care to go to the powder room?
[Curly tries to leaves, but Moe grabs him]
MOE: Oh no no! She always looks like that.
CURLY: Hmm.
MRS. BIXBY: Haha. Oh then, come meet my guest.
[The stooges enter the living room]
MRS. BIXBY: Ladies and gentlemen, I have the honor of presenting the great artist, Senorita Cucaracha [Curly smiles at the guests], Senor Mucho [Larry smiles at the guests], and Senor Gusto. [Moe bows]
[Alice sees the stooges and puts her hand on her father in shock]
ALICE’S FATHER: What is it, Alice?
ALICE: Father, I’m sure I know those men.
[An old man approaches Curly]
OLD MAN: Ah, Senorita! I am thrilled. [takes Curly’s hand and kisses it]
CURLY: [scratches his hand] I’m kinda tickled myself. Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk
[Curly takes his handheld fan and he taps the old man in the head with it a few times. He then hits him with it. The old man just laughs]
[Spumoni walks in]
LARRY: [sees Spumoni] Hey, look who’s here!
MOE: [sees Spumoni] We better get out of here. If he spots us, we’re cooked. Come on!
[The stooges walk into the other room]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [walks up to Mrs. Bixby] Oh Mrs. Bixby, I’m so sorry I’m late. I meeta some crazy peoples. They bust my fiddle. They bust my glasses. Mrs. Bixby, you will excuse me. I cannot play my fiddle. I can sing instead, oh?
MRS. BIXBY: Oh, of course, we should be glad to have you sing, Signor.
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [takes out his glasses and shows Mrs. Bixby] Look at my glasses. All broke!
[Cut to the stooges in the other room]
MOE: It’s a good thing he ain’t got his glasses. Maybe he won’t know us.
LARRY: Yeah
[Alice peaks through the curtains and sees the stooges in the other room. She sees Moe take the record out of his jacket and put it in the phonograph]
MOE: Come on.
[The stooges leave the room and walk back into the living room]
MRS. BIXBY: [to Spumoni] I’m sorry about your glasses, Signor. Would you care to sing now?
SIGNOR SPUMONI: Delighted.
[The stooges sit down on the couch. Spumoni walks up to the center of the living room and gets ready to sing. Everyone applauds.]
MOE: [to Larry and Curly] Muscling in on our territory. We gotta do something to stop him.
[The drunk pianist begins playing the piano]
MOE: [sees a bowl of cherries next to him] I got it fellas. Here! [grabs a bunch of cherries and gives some to Larry and Curly]
[Spumoni sings in Italian. As soon as he opens his mouth to sing a high note, Moe flings a cherry and it lands inside Spumoni’s mouth. Spumoni stops singing]
CURLY: Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk.
MOE: That was a shot boy.
[Spumoni starts mumbling in Italian because he’s angry]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [to the drunk pianist] Alright, once a more please.
[The pianist plays again]
MOE: [to Larry] Ok kid.
[Spumoni sings in Italian. As soon as he opens his mouth to sing a high note, Larry flings a cherry and it lands in Spumoni’s mouth. Spumoni starts choking]
MOE: Ha! Alright!
CURLY: Hahahahaha!
[Spumoni looks angry]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [to the drunk pianist] Once more please!
[The pianist plays again]
MOE: [to Larry and Curly] Why don’t he quit? Let’s give him a salvo.
[Spumoni sings in Italian. As soon as he opens his mouth to sing a high note, the stooges simultaneously fling a cherry.]
MOE: Fire!
[All three of the cherries land in Spumoni’s mouth. Spumoni starts choking and gagging. The stooges walk away. Several guests run up to Spumoni and tap him on the back]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: Thank you! Thank you! [sees an old guy with a bowl of cherries in his hand] Cherries, huh!
[Spumoni grabs a bunch of cherries from the bowl and shoves it in the old guys face]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: See how you like that, wise guy? See how you like that?
[The stooges enter the other room]
MOE: Swell, now we gotta clear field.
[Moe grabs the record from the phonograph]
MOE: [to Curly] All we gotta do is knock ‘em dead with your song and we’re in.
CURLY: Just be careful with that record.
MOE: Nothing’s gonna happen to it.
LARRY: Well it might get broke.
MOE: Not with me handling it.
CURLY: Just be careful.
MOE: Shut up! [hits Curly in the head with the record and it breaks]
CURLY: Oh oh oh oh oh!
MOE: With me handling a record, nothing ev--- [waves the record in front of Curly’s face and he sees that it’s broken] Nyahhh! Look what you did. Now, we’re cooked. [drops the record on the floor]
LARRY: [sees a bunch of records on the table next to him] No we ain’t. Look, here’s a lot of records. [grabs a record and gives it to Moe]
MOE: You’re getting a half a brain in your skull now, huh? [reads the label on the record] “Sextet From Lucy.” [to Curly] Can you sing it?
CURLY: I can’t even say it.
MOE: Oh, go on, get set. [pushes Curly]
[Larry and Curly leave as Moe tries to set up the record on the phonograph]
[Cut to Larry and Curly who walk up to the drunk pianist. The drunk pianist is drinking and Larry slaps him in the back causing him to almost choke]
LARRY: Say, you know, “Sextet From Lucy?”
DRUNK PIANIST: [in a slurred manner] Know it? I wrote it!
[Larry does a double take.]
[Moe sets up the record on the phonograph. When he walks out of the other room and enters the living room, he bumps into Spumoni. Spumoni puts his face very close to Moe’s because he’s having a hard time seeing him.]
MOE: Oh, short eyeballs, eh? [clears his throat]
[Moe walks up to the center of the living room and joins Larry and Curly. The pianist begins playing and the stooges lip-synch to the “Sextet From Lucy” record, which is all in Italian. Curly starts off singing, then Moe joins in]
MRS. BIXBY: [to Alice’s father] Ah, Sextet from Lucia!
ALICE’S FATHER: Hmm.
[Larry joins in singing. The stooges all start singing simultaneously in Italian. Spumoni has an annoyed look on his face. He turns his head and sees the record playing on the phonograph. The stooges continue to lip-synch to the record. All the guests look happy with the stooges’ performance. Spumoni walks up to the phonograph and unplugs it. Now, Moe and Larry sing off-key while Curly starts babbling. Moe and Larry stop singing and they grab Curly]
[Mrs. Bixby approaches the stooges. Curly continues babbling]
MRS. BIXBY: My goodness! What happened?
MOE: The senorita’s lost her voice.
[Moe opens Curly’s mouth and looks inside]
MOE: Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk.
MRS. BIXBY: What is it? Laryngitis?
MOE: No, falling arches!
[Dissolve to the stooges sitting in the couch. Moe sprays inside Curly’s mouth. Moe and Larry shrug their shoulders at the guests]
LARRY: [whispers to Moe] Say, I wonder who double-crossed up with that record?
CURLY: I don’t know who did, but I wanna get outta here.
MOE: Quiet! You lost your voice.
CURLY: Where? [looks down on the floor]
[Moe and Larry pushes Curly back]
MOE: Shut up!
[The stooges see Spumoni looking at them and giving them an evil smile. He signals to the stooges that he will cut their throats]
MOE: [holding his neck] Gaaah ah! [to Larry and Curly] Hey, I got a great idea. We better get outta here.
LARRY: Yeah!
[The stooges are about to sneak out of the party, but Alice walks up to them and stops them]
ALICE: Wait! Why did you take my record from the broadcasting station? I wanted that job and you spoiled my chances of getting it. Now, the least thing you can do is to go through with it. I want to prove something to my father.
CURLY: How can we? My voice, I mean, your voice is broken.
ALICE: No, it isn’t. It’s as good a new. Listen. [starts singing high-pitched notes] Ahh. Ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhhhhh. Ahhh ahhh ahh ahh ahh.
[The stooges get scared. Mrs. Bixby hears the singing and she thinks it’s Curly. She walks up to the stooges]
MRS. BIXBY: [to Curly] Oh, my dear, you were wonderful. You’ll sing for us now, won’t you?
ALICE: Of course you will, won’t you?
MRS. BIXBY: Do that number you did at the broadcasting station this afternoon. [to the pianist] Play “Voices of Spring.”
MOE: [clears his throat] This way, Senorita.
[The stooges walk up to the center of the living room]
ALICE: All set?
[Moe winks at Alice]
[The pianist begins playing. Alice hides behind the curtains and sings while Curly lips-synchs]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! I hear the voice of spring, I do! Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! When the birds return, the skies are blue. Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhh! Ah ah!
MRS. BIXBY: [to Alice’s father] Isn’t it wonderful?
ALICE’S FATHER: It certainly is. Now if Alice can sing like that.
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Love is like a flower! Ah oh! Ah oh Ah oh ohh! Ohh ohh! Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah ah ahhhh! Ahhh! Ohhh!
[Spumoni is wondering what Curly is lip-synching too. He looks at the phonograph and sees that it’s unplugged]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] The voice of spring is in the air. Ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ahhh!
[Moe plays the flute off-key]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Moe plays the flute off-key again]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Moe plays the flute off-key again]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Alice extends her hand. Her hand pops out from behind the curtains and it hits Spumoni in the head. Spumoni turns around and sees Alice hiding behind the curtains and singing]
[Moe plays the flute off-key again]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing] Ah ah ah ah ahhhh!
[Spumoni takes a banana and squeezes the banana peel. The banana pops out of the peel, it flies across the room and into Curly’s mouth. The guests look shocked]
ALICE (with Curly lip-synching): [singing a high-note] Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Ahh ahhhhh!
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [opens up the curtains and reveals Alice hiding behind it] Ha ha!
[All the guests look shocked]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: [removes Curly’s wig] Look, peoples!! Just a big fake.
[The guests start clamoring]
SIGNOR SPUMONI: Ladies and gentlemen! A big fake!
ALICE: Oh please, please! Wait! [to her father] It wasn’t all their fault. I helped them
ALICE’S FATHER: Why Alice?
ALICE: Oh, I wanted to prove I was good enough to get a job, father.
MRS. BIXBY: And you are, dear. You’re still gonna sing on my program.
[We see the stooges hiding under the piano]
ALICE’S FATHER: Didn’t I say she had a fine voice?
MRS. BIXBY: [turns around] As for these imposters.
CURLY: Oh! Oh oh oh oh oh!
[The stooges crawl out from under the piano. Everyone at the party yells and throws plates at the stooges as they run away and leave.]
--THE END--
COLUMBIA : Three Stooges, The Volume II
Published by RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video (1981-1983)
Released on:
Published by RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video (1981-1983)
Released on:
- VHS
- Beta
COLUMBIA : Three Stooges, The Volume I
Published by RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video (1982 (C) 1983 (L))
Released on:
Published by RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video (1982 (C) 1983 (L))
Released on:
- Laser Disc
- CED
COLUMBIA : Three Stooges Comedy Classics, The
Published by Columbia TriStar Home Video (1995)
Released on:
Published by Columbia TriStar Home Video (1995)
Released on:
- Laser Disc
COLUMBIA : Three Stooges Collection, The Vol. 4: 1943 - 1945
Published by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment (2008)
Released on:
Published by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment (2008)
Released on:
- DVD
COLUMBIA : Three Stooges Blu-Ray Collection, The
Published by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment (2024)
Released on:
Published by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment (2024)
Released on:
|
Face Slaps: 3
Eye Pokes: 0
Head Bonks: 1
Pastry Thrown: 0
|
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Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2011-02-05 22:13:42 by shemps#1
Edited 2011-02-05 22:15:31 by shemps#1
Reviewer's Rating:
(8)
Posted 2011-02-05 22:13:42 by shemps#1
Edited 2011-02-05 22:15:31 by shemps#1
A great performance by Curly despite his illness I'll grant you, but even if he were 100% healthy I would not call this a "classic" alongside the likes of Three Little Beers, Brideless Groom etc. This one is slightly overrated, but nowhere near as overrated as Three Little Pirates. 3 Pokes
Reviewer's Rating:
(8)
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2010-11-30 22:25:34 by cpp
Posted 2010-11-30 22:25:34 by cpp
This episode ranks right up near the top for me. When Curly dressed up as a woman, he always seemed to find some extra comedic reserves, & use them with hilarious results.
Christine McIntyre, who I always thought was the most talented & beautiful woman in the supporting cast, is superb. Any performance where she gets a chance to air out the pipes is a good episode. She didn't get to sing enough, in my opinion. Also, unless someone in wardrobe just happened to grab something off the rack by chance, the dress Christine wore in this episode couldn't have been a better choice for her to make a stunning visual impact to complement her outstanding voice.
Stooge mainstay, Symona Boniface, does an excellent job in support, as usual.
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2010-05-12 02:26:14 by Shemp_Diesel
Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Posted 2010-05-12 02:26:14 by Shemp_Diesel
"Oh a micro-phonie."
"And a phony at the mic."
4 pokes
Reviewer's Rating:
(9)
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2007-12-02 04:57:44 by Legalize Shemp
Reviewer's Rating: (10)
Posted 2007-12-02 04:57:44 by Legalize Shemp
Soitenly a Curly Classic and the first Stooges film I saw if memory serves. Even though his voice was noticably different he was still at the top of his game. The whole first half of the short was absolutely hilarious, especially when the boys are chased by their boss into the studio with Gino Corado, and the second half was just as funny. Four pokes all the way!
Reviewer's Rating:
(10)
RE: MICRO-PHONIES (1945)
Posted 2004-01-16 20:34:00 by Justin T
Reviewer's Rating: (10)
Posted 2004-01-16 20:34:00 by Justin T
A Curly Classic, great performance from him, esp the lyp synching, despite the fact his healthwas starting to decline around this time. Great Stooge debut for the lovley and talented McIntyre,she had a awesome singing voice. Moe's "Gritto" comercial is very funny4 Pokes
Reviewer's Rating:
(10)
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2003-09-24 13:13:00 by Mrs. Smythe-Smythe
Reviewer's Rating: (10)
Posted 2003-09-24 13:13:00 by Mrs. Smythe-Smythe
For an opera afficionado, this episode takes the cake. Curly is amazing Senorita Cucaracha. And Christine's voice is beautifully showcased. The grape scene and the sextet scene are just hysterical, too.
Reviewer's Rating:
(10)
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2003-09-15 08:54:00 by HereIAmMoe
Reviewer's Rating: (10)
Posted 2003-09-15 08:54:00 by HereIAmMoe
One of the best Curly shorts, despite his slowing up during this time. His facial expressions while lipsynching are hysterical. Caught this one on TV last week and was laughing from start to finish.
Reviewer's Rating:
(10)
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2001-05-07 19:11:00 by Stooge
Edited 2003-07-01 04:31:00 by Stooge
Reviewer's Rating: (10)
Posted 2001-05-07 19:11:00 by Stooge
Edited 2003-07-01 04:31:00 by Stooge
An excellent short, and Curly does a great job despite his bad health at the time. This was also a great way for Christine McIntyre to show off her singing talents. This was a perfect start for Edward Bernds, and a great sign for things to come (the first actual Stooge short he directed was really A BIRD IN THE HEAD, but this was wisely released ahead of time.)
Reviewer's Rating:
(10)
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2003-05-27 16:40:00 by Pat Stooge
Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Posted 2003-05-27 16:40:00 by Pat Stooge
A really great short, with a bit of slowdown because of Curly's heath starting to decline, I liked his preformance and I also liked how he tried his hardest to stay in line and keep himself under control.Curly in drag? Wonderful he should have gotten an oscar for his preformance.
Reviewer's Rating:
(8)
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2002-06-26 13:38:00 by jaronson
Reviewer's Rating: (10)
Posted 2002-06-26 13:38:00 by jaronson
How could that guy with the cherries have been Vernon Dent? First of all, he looks nothing like Dent. Second of all, Vernon Dent would have had to lose at least 200 lbs to look even somewhat like that guy.
Reviewer's Rating:
(10)
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2001-11-24 21:06:00 by jaronson
Reviewer's Rating: (10)
Posted 2001-11-24 21:06:00 by jaronson
I thought there used to be a comment that said that this was Gino Corrado's debut with the stooges unless I didn't look hard enough. Just to tell everybody that doesn't know, I think Gino's actual debut was the general in SAVED BY THE BELLE. Anyway, a great short for Curly's sick period.Grade: A+
Reviewer's Rating:
(10)
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2001-08-25 21:34:00 by Ingagy
Posted 2001-08-25 21:34:00 by Ingagy
Warnie has already mentioned Chester Conklin's classic line "Know it?? I WROTE it!!"... but next time you watch the short, check out Conklin's CLASSIC expressions as he plays the piano... priceless!!
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2001-08-23 04:42:00 by [Deleted Member]
Posted 2001-08-23 04:42:00 by [Deleted Member]
Wow, you guys have covered just about everything in this short. What you didn't mention was how great Fred Kelsey was as the boys' boss. His yells as he got hurt were a lot like the yells of Goofy, the Walt Disney character, when he takes a long fall or something.Christine's hair probably looked the worst here than in any Stooge short, but wow can she sing! My favorite parts were the pretend radio program scene, seeing how Gino corrado mistreated that innocent little guy with the bowl of cherries, seeing the same little guy when Seniorita Cucaracha hit him in the face with the fan, and when Gino tried to sing but choked on the cherries the Stooges flung at him. Speaking of Gino, if it wasn't for the choking, I would've turned his singing scene off. That guy was awful! Bravo to the Stooges for their great aim!ISLIPP on the pipe, hit my head on the radiator and think I hear an angel singing! ®2001
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2001-05-15 15:57:00 by [Deleted Member]
Posted 2001-05-15 15:57:00 by [Deleted Member]
One of the most amazing things about this short is the fact that Curly doesn't speak much - most of the short is taken up with singing (or lip synching), or with supporting actors. Still, i consider it a classic - even with very few lines in the short, Curly still had an excellent performance. A definite classic.
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2001-05-07 19:33:00 by Dunrobin
Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Posted 2001-05-07 19:33:00 by Dunrobin
I agree - that mug Curly makes when he's hitting the high notes is priceless. This is definitely a classic Curly, despite his obviously declining health. Dunrobin (the Webmaster)
Reviewer's Rating:
(8)
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2001-04-12 13:21:00 by Ichabod Slipp
Posted 2001-04-12 13:21:00 by Ichabod Slipp
If you have this on tape, get to the scene in the radio station where Curly mimes to the "Voices of Spring." As he "hits" that second-to-last note, the really high one after the pause, freeze-frame on his face.You ruled, Curly.
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2001-03-26 11:54:00 by Uncle Mortimer
Posted 2001-03-26 11:54:00 by Uncle Mortimer
Anyone out there like "EVIL DEAD II?" If you do, you probably know that Sam Raimi (the director of the film) is a HUGE Stooge fan. In "EVIL DEAD II", there's a scene where an eyeball flies out of the possesed "Henrietta's" eye socket into the mouth of an unsuspecting girl(Bobby Joe.) The scene is done with inventive quirks and jerks (and it's funny.) Raimi lifted the idea from MICRO-PHONIES (you know what scene.) There are many other "Stooge-like" moments in this film. Including the hilarious scene where Bruce Cambell's character(ASH) has his HAND posessed by obstinate evil spirits who, by using Ash's own hand, continually smash plates over his head until he's unconscious! This is the funniest scene I've ever watched in a horror movie and VERY Stooge-like! By the way, I totally agree with sickdrjoe that it is a PLEASURE to see no comments referring to Curly's health. I'm so sick of that. And to A.Smith, I'm TRYING to understand your comments about MICRO-PHONIES, THREE LITTLE PIGSKINS etc... but so far, no dice. I don't get how you could think they are bad films. Well, to each his own... SEE YA STOOGERS!!
Re: MICRO-PHONIES
Posted 2001-03-04 18:27:00 by sickdrjoe
Posted 2001-03-04 18:27:00 by sickdrjoe
What a pleasure it is NOT to have to mention Curly's illness for once! He's great in this, as are Moe & Larry. Nice to see Curly's good-luck charm, Symona Boniface, lending her inimitable Lady Plushbottom presence as well. Although he's most closely associated with Shemp, Ed Bernds shows he could adapt his skill to either lineup. Curly might not be the dynamo of earlier years but he's giving us everything he's got in MICRO-PHONIES. What a giant of comedy he truly was; we were lucky to have had him as long as we did. Incidentally, this is Leonard Maltin's favorite Stooge short (it's long out of print, but he wrote a great book 30 years ago called MOVIE COMEDY TEAMS which devotes lots of ink to the boys. It even has an introduction by Billy Gilbert! Grab it if you come across a copy.)
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