Great Movie Comedians, The (From Charlie Chaplin to Woody Allen)
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Transcribed By: xraffle
Date Added: 2008-08-23
[The short opens up to a sign that says “Day and Nite Plumbers- We Never Sleep”. We then see Moe sitting in a jeep, reading over a “How to Be a Plumber” book. The phone rings. Moe puts the book down and picks the phone up.]
MOE: Night and Day Plumbers.
[Cut to Mr. Norfleet on the other end of the line]
MR. NORFLEET: [stuttering] I’d like you to come right out to 14-14 Bleaker Street right away. And ask for Mr. Norfleet.
[Cut to Moe again]
MOE: We’ll be over in two shakes of a martini. [hangs up the phone] Ha ha! Boy! Our first case [pushes the phone away but the extension at the end of it pushes it back into his head] Oh! [pushes the phone back again and it stretches back out, but this time, Moe ducks and it misses] Hahaha--- [the phone reaches out and hits him again] Grr!
[Moe turns on the engine to start the jeep.]
MOE: [yelling up at Shemp and Larry] C’mon, you slugs! We’re rollin’!
[Cut to upstairs where Shemp and Larry are sleeping and snoring loudly on bunk beds attached to the wall. Camera cuts back over to Moe downstairs.]
MOE: Oh, stubborn eh??!
[Moe pulls a nearby wire, which causes the two bunk beds to drop Shemp and Larry on the floor. Larry gets up, but Shemp tries to go back to sleep again.]
LARRY: [grabbing the plumbing tools] Hey, c’mon, Shemp! It’s our first call!
[Shemp starts to wake up. Larry walks up to the firepole in the room and drops the toolbag down there. It falls and hits Moe right on the head, who’s right under the firepole. Larry then slides down the pole and lands on top of Moe, pushing his foot down on the pedal. The jeep takes off. A second afterwards, Shemp is seen sliding down the pole and he crashes into the floor, missing the jeep completely.]
SHEMP: We gotta get a longer jeep. [looks off-screen at Moe and Larry taking off in the jeep]
[The scene ends and the next scene begins at Mr. Norfleet’s bathroom. Moe, Larry and Mr. Norfleet enter]
MR. NORFLEET: I dropped a very valuable diamond ring down into this wash base and drain. Please, don’t give up until you find it.
MOE: Don’t worry boss! We’ll have your ring back before you can say “Cucamonga.”
MR. NORFLEET: That’s fine. Oh! My wife has guests and is unveiling a new Van Brocklin painting she just bought. Please, work quietly.
MOE: Ok, we’ll be quiet.
[Mr. Norfleet leaves. Larry throws his tools down on floor causing a loud noise]
MOE: Quiet!!!!
[Moe throws his tools down as well and a loud noise occurs again]
MOE: I said quiet. [slaps Larry] Come on, get busy here!
LARRY: Alright.
MOE: Get the ring.
[At the same time, Moe and Larry stick their heads into the sink to look through the drain but they bump heads]
MOE AND LARRY: Oh!!
MOE: Come on! Get that plate outta there!
LARRY: Alright.
[Larry removes the metal plate on the top of the drain on the sink. Moe takes a flashlight, looks through the drain, and sticks his hand in. He grabs the ring out]
LARRY: Think you got something.
MOE: How about that! It was stuck on the inside rim all the time. Call Mr. Norfleet.
LARRY: [yells] Mr. Norfleet, we found the--- [bumps into Moe]
MOE: Oh!! [drops the ring and it falls down the drain]
LARRY: Get it!!
[At the same time, Moe and Larry stick their heads into the sink to look through the drain but they bump heads again]
MOE AND LARRY: Oh!!
MOE: You knucklehead you!!! You’re gonna get that ring if I have to shove you down the pipe after it.
LARRY: Wait a minute, there must be another way.
[Moe grabs Larry by the hair]
MOE: I’ll show ya!
[Moe turns Larry upside down and tries to shove him down the drain]
LARRY: Moe! Please! Ow!! Ow!! Ow, you’re crushing my skull.
MOE: Well get that ring!
LARRY: Ow! I won’t fit in here.
MOE: By golly, he’s right. His ears are in the way. [snaps fingers] I gotta get something.
[Moe walks over to the bag of tools]
MOE: Oh yeah! A wrench! [yanks the wrench out and it hits him in the face] Ohh!! Hmmmm!!
[Moe grabs the wrench and the plunger.]
MOE: Ah!!!
[He walks up to sink and sees Larry gone. Moe does a double take.]
MOE: Oh no, he couldn’t have. He couldn’t have gone down that drain pipe.
[Moe talks into the drain]
MOE: Larry! Where are you?
LARRY: [we hear his voice from inside the drain] I’m down here.
[Moe does a double take]
MOE: Nyahh!! [drops his tools] I’ll figure something out kid. Wait a minute. I’ll figure something out.
[Moe grabs a flashlight and looks down the drain. He sees Larry’s face]
LARRY: Come on, Moe. Get busy!!
MOE: [does a double take] Ok kid! I’ll be with you in a jiffy. Take it easy kid. I’ll find a way.
[Moe sticks his hand down the drain.]
[Cut to Larry who is under the sink. It turns out that he disconnected the pipes and is just under the sink. Moe’s hand grabs Larry’s hair and pulls it out]
MOE: Now easy Larry!
LARRY: Owww!!!
[Cut to Moe who grabs a chunk of Larry’s hair]
MOE: Mmm. Hmm. I got part of him. I’ll have to take him out in pieces. Take your time kid. [sticks his hand down the drain again.
[Larry gets up from under the sink and approaches Moe]
LARRY: Hey Moe! What are you doing?
MOE: I’m trying to get you outta this pipe, ya sap! [does a double take]
LARRY: What d’you do? Blow your stack!
MOE: I’ll blow your stack. I’ll smack you in the snoot. I’ll--- [can’t get his hand out of the drain] Larry! I can’t get it out. Help me, will ya. I’m stuck.
[Larry tries to pull Moe’s hand out]
MOE: Oh!
LARRY: Take it easy kid! I’ll get you out
MOE: Oh oh! Ohhhh!! [Moe gets his hand free]
LARRY: You’re hand alright?
MOE: I dunno. [pokes Larry in the eyes]
LARRY: It’s alright. [suddenly feels the pain from the eyepoke] Oww!!
MOE: Give me that. Hope that ring’s in here.
[Moe grabs the drain pipe from Larry. He looks through it and then listens to it. Larry blows on the other end of the pipe while Moe listens]
MOE: Ow!! I’ll murder you!
LARRY: Take it easy.
MOE: Hey! That ring went down that drain pipe.
LARRY: How do you know it didn’t go down the water pipe?
MOE: Maybe it did.
[We hear a horn honking from outside.]
[Cut to outside. Shemp is honking the horn of the jeep. He then grabs a bunch of pipes and carries them]
[Cut to Moe and Larry who look out the bathroom window to see who is honking.]
MOE: [yells out the window] Hey Shemp! We’re in here. We got a lot of work to do, so shake a leg!
[Cut to Shemp who is having a hard time carrying the pipes]
SHEMP: Hold your horses, will ya.
[Cut to Moe and Larry again]
MOE: I think that ring slid down one of the pipes into the basement. We all better go down there and find it and hurry.
LARRY: Well don’t rush me. I gotta wash my hands. [turns on the sink to wash his hands]
MOE: Oh. [grabs a plunger]
LARRY: Who do you think I am, anyhow?? Haha!
MOE: Hey anyhow!!
LARRY: What?
[Moe sticks the plunger on Larry’s head and drags him out of the bathroom]
LARRY: Oowwww!
MOE: Come on! Come on! Come on, anyhow!! Come on!
[Larry gets dragged out of the bathroom and accidentally leaves the faucet on the sink running.]
[The scene ends and the next scene begins down in the basement of the mansion. Moe is twisting a wrench on a pipe as Shemp watches.]
SHEMP: That’s got it!
MOE: But we didn’t locate the ring. [handing Shemp the wrench, which is still connecting to the pipe] Hold on to this, and don't let it slip. [to Larry] Gimme that blow torch.
[Larry aims the blowtorch towards Moe’s behind and accidentally turns it on, burning Moe's rear.]
MOE: Yeeeeooowwww!!!!!
[Moe accidentally steps in the bucket and gets his foot stuck inside of it.]
MOE: [to Larry] Get my foot outta there!
LARRY: Okay!
[Larry yanks Moe’s leg up, causing Moe to unintentionally knee him. Moe falls backwards and bumps into Shemp, causing Shemp’s arm that’s holding the wrench to slip, and the wrench bangs into Moe’s head. The pipe leaks again. Moe holds his hand under the leak, then holds his hand over to Larry.]
MOE: [to Larry] Now see what ya did?
LARRY: [looking at Moe’s hand] What?
MOE: [slapping Larry with the wet hand] Get outta here!
LARRY: Wait a minute! We can’t find the ring while it’s leakin’. [looking around the basement] I wonder where you shut the water off.
SHEMP: It must be upstairs. Water always runs downhill.
MOE: [pinching Shemp’s cheek] You’re a very intelligent imbecile!
SHEMP: Thanks!
MOE: Yeah. Shut the water off!!!! Go on!
SHEMP: Alright! [quickly picks up his tools and heads for the stairs leading to the outside of the basement] Get me nervous!
MOE: Go get busy!
[Cut to upstairs where we see the guests that Mrs. Norfleet has over at the mansion. Allen, Ethel and Mrs. Norfleet are talking]
ETHEL: We’re simply dying to see the Van Brocklin.
MRS. NORFLEET: Well, I’ll not keep you waiting.
[Cut back to inside of the basement with Moe and Larry. Moe is twisting the pipe with a wrench, as Larry sits beside him, relaxing while reading a newspaper. Larry notices that the pail next to him held under the leak is filled with water, so he puts his newspaper down and dumps all the water out of the pail. Then he stands the pail back up under the leak again.]
LARRY: [picking the newspaper back up again] Ah!
[Moe looks over at Larry and then bangs his wrench over Larry’s head.]
MOE: A great help you are! That other chowderhead didn’t shut the water off, now you do it! [handing Larry a diving rod] Here!
LARRY: Wait a minute! Where will I find a valve?
MOE: That’s your job, ya dummy! Look in the kitchen. Look in the attic. [slapping Larry] Look in the backyard!
LARRY: Alright!
[Larry holds his diving rod behind him then begins to walk away. The rod gets caught onto the back of Moe’s suspenders. As Larry tries to walk away, the suspenders stretch out farther. So Larry then lets go of the rod, and it goes flying backwards into Moe’s head, knocking him into the furnace. Larry jumps in the shock as he sees this, and then dashes out of the basement in fright.]
[Cut to Mrs. Norfleet and the guests. They are all admiring the Van Brocklin painting]
ETHEL: Oh, it’s divine! What color! What detail!
MRS. NORFLEET: And it’s over two hundred years old. Every museum in the country tried to buy it.
ALLEN: It’s a masterpiece alright.
[Cut to Larry passing by the bathroom. He sees the sink running and the water that has leaked all over the bathroom]
LARRY: What idiot left this water running? [realizes it was him] I did!
[Larry turns off the faucet.]
[Cut to Moe in the basement. Water comes out from the pipe he’s fixing and it splashes on his face]
MOE: Uhhh!!! I wonder where those other lugs are.
[Cut to Larry in the bathroom.]
LARRY: I gotta get rid of this water. [grabs a hand drill]
[Larry starts drilling holes on the floor to get the water out of the bathroom]
[Cut to inside of the basement, where Moe has finished tightening the pipe again.]
MOE: Ah! Success at last!
[Cut to Larry in the bathroom. He continues to drill the holes on the floor]
LARRY: [as he is drilling] What an idea!
[Cut to Moe in the basement. Suddenly, water from the drill holes in the bathroom floor above splashes on Moe’s head.]
MOE: Yeeooowww!!! [moves to the side] What’s the matter? What’s going on here? [more water starts dripping on him] Ohhh, moida!
[Cut to Larry who stops drilling.]
LARRY: Hey! I better find that water cut-off. [yanks the drill out of the floor and it hits him in the face] Ohh!! [throws the drill on the floor and leaves]
[Cut to Moe in the basement]
MOE: I’ll find that ring if it kills me.
[Moe grabs a box to stand on top of and then begins tightening the pipe with a wrench. Camera cuts over to a chef in the kitchen washing his hands in the sink. In the basement, Moe twists a pipe around. This causes the sink faucet in the kitchen to twist to the other side as well. The chef watches in surprise. As he tries to grab the faucet, it begins turning up and down. The chef grabs the faucet and pulls it out of the wall, causing water to leak out of the faucet hole. Back inside the basement, Moe accidentally pulls the two pipes apart, causing the water stops leaking out of the kitchen faucet hole. The chef puts his face up to the hole in curiosity. Moe then begins re-attaches the two pipes, causing the water to spray out of the kitchen faucet hole again and into the chef’s face. The water stops coming out of the hole and chef holds his face up to it again. Moe finishes re-attaching the pipes, and the water sprays the chef in the face again.]
[Cut to Larry who is outside. He begins to shovel a hole in the ground]
LARRY: I’ll find that water cut-off.
[Cut to Allen and Ethel admiring the Van Brocklin painting]
ETHEL: [whispering] It’s the real Van Brocklin alright! Worth a fortune.
ALLEN: [whispering back] Okay, we’ll... [mumbles]
[Cut to Moe and Shemp in the basement.]
MOE: Go on, get another length of pipe! Go ahead!
[Shemp walks over to an electricity box and pulls a pipe attached to the top of the box. He notices the electrical wires inside the pipe]
SHEMP: Hey, Moe! No wonder the water don’t woik. These pipes are clogged up with wires! [Moe walks up to him] Look.
MOE: Well, yank ‘em out and we’ll hook the pipes up all over again. You oysterbrain! [pushing Shemp] Go on!
SHEMP: Alright! [begins to yank the wires out of the pipe]
[Cut to Mr. Norfleet talking to a guest.]
MR. NORFLEET: No, we don’t go in for sculpture. It’s too bulky. We---
[The lights on the wall nearby begin to shake, from Shemp pulling the electrical wires down in the basement. Mr. Norfleet tries to catch the shaking light and at the same time, he tries to appear casual in front of his guest.]
SHEMP: [pulling the wires] White all colors...
[Suddenly, the light on the wall gets pulled inside of the wall, and makes a big hole.]
MR. NORFLEET: Short circuit, no doubt!
[Cut back to the chef in the kitchen, mixing batter. There is suddenly some clanking noise above him. He looks up at the light above him and notices the light bulb moving up and down due to Shemp's wire pulling. Then the hands of a clock on top of the wall in front of the chef are moving rapidly. The chef does a double take when he sees this. The clock falls off the wall and into the bowl of batter, splashing it all over the chef’s face.]
[Cut to the basement where we see a big pile of wires. Then the camera pans over and we see Shemp still pulling the wires out of the pipe.]
[Cut to Larry who has just dug a big hole on the ground outside of the mansion. He still continues digging]
LARRY: Where is that water cut-off?
[Cut to Shemp in the basement. He just finished pulling out the electrical wires out of the pipe]
SHEMP: [to Moe] That does it! End of the line!
[Moe walks over to Shemp, dragging a water pipe with him.]
MOE: Okay! We’ll try and get these pipes together and then everything will be oaky-doaky.
SHEMP: Alright!
[Shemp and Moe try to connect the electrical pipes and the water pipe together.]
[Cut to the kitchen. The chef turns on the light bulb switch. Water flows inside of the bulb instead of the light turning on. It fills completely with water, then cracks and starts dripping water. The bewildered chef looks up at the dripping light bulb.]
CHEF: This house has sho’ gone crazy! [grabs a match above the stove]
[Cut to the basement where Shemp and Moe have connected both the electrical and water pipes together.]
SHEMP: I never thought I’d do it!
MOE: [shaking Shemp’s hand] Success! Hahaha!
[Cut to the kitchen. The chef lights the stove with a match and water sprays out of the stove instead of fire. The water sprays in the chef’s face. He tries turning the stove off, but no luck. He then heads for the closet but slips on the wet floor several times on his way.]
[Cut back to the outside of the mansion. Larry pokes his head through from under the ground.]
LARRY: I’ll find this thing, or else! [sticks his head back in the hole]
[Cut over to Shemp walking in the hallway of the mansion. One of the pipes he’s carrying happens to fall right down next to the basement door. Shemp walks around and notices a bathroom door. He opens the door and then drops his tools on the floor and walks in.]
[Cut back to the kitchen. The chef peers his out of the closet door, dressed in a raincoat. He rushes over to the stove and tries to stop the water from coming out. After having no luck, he heads towards the outside of the kitchen and again slips on the floor on his way.]
[Cut to Shemp in bathroom. He is in the bathtub trying to fix the faucet. Shemp takes a wrench out of his toolbag and twists the water faucet all the way off. Water splashes out of the faucet hole and onto Shemp.]
SHEMP: Oh, must be a loose washer! [covering the faucet hole with his hands] How do ya like that? [reaching for the pliers in his back pocket] I’ll fix that in a minute! Gotta be a loose washer. [accidentally drops the pliers] Oh!
[Shemp uncovers the faucet hole and then bends over and pick up the pliers. The water from the faucet hole splashes him again. Shemp covers the hole again and then swings the pliers at it, but accidentally hits his hand.]
SHEMP: Oh oh oh!
[Cut to Mrs. Norfleet and her guests]
MRS. NORFLEET: Dear me! I can’t understand what’s holding up dinner.
[The chef enters with his wet raincoat on.]
CHEF: Sorry folks. Dinner’s postponed on account of rain! [leaves]
MRS. NORFLEET: [to the guests] Well, I, I’m sure it won’t be long. Shall we see what’s on the television set?
MR. NORFLEET: Uh, excellent. Uh, excellent idea. [clears throat]
[The Norfleets and the guest all walk over to the television set. Meanwhile, Allen secretly cuts around the Van Brocklin painting with a knife as Ethel keeps a lookout.]
MRS. NORFLEET: [to her guests] We get the most amazing results.
[Mrs. Norfleet turns the TV set on.]
TV ANNOUNCER: Good evening, friends.
MRS. NORFLEET: Th-That’s odd! There’s sound, but no picture.
TV ANNOUNCER: Our special feature for tonight will be glimpses of scenic America. First we take you to Niagara Falls.
MRS. NORFLEET: [trying to get the picture on in the TV set] I’ll get it in a minute.
[The picture on the TV set turns on and we see the Niagara Falls. Suddenly, water bursts forth from the TV set and splashes all over Mrs. Norfleet.]
MR. NORFLEET: Oh! Oh, dear!
MRS. NORFLEET: Oh! Water!
MR. NORFLEET: Change your clothes dear, you’re all wet.
[Cut back to Shemp in the bathroom. Shemp is in front of the leaking faucet hole and he’s holding a pipe.]
SHEMP: I’ll let the water out in the window, that’s what I’ll do.
[Shemp screws the pipe onto the faucet hole, and the water from the faucet hole ends up leaking outside of the other end of the pipe.]
SHEMP: Oh, yeah???
[Shemp gets another pipe and then screws it onto the end of the first pipe. The leak ends up coming out of the end of the second pipe. Shemp gets even more aggravated as he notices this.]
[Cut to Mrs. Norfleet and her guests. Allen secretly steals the Van Brocklin painting and puts it inside his jacket]
[Wilkes, the Butler walks up to the weeping Mrs. Norfleet.]
WILKES: Madam, shall I get you some water?
MRS. NORFLEET: No!!! [looks over and notices the Van Brocklin painting missing from the frame] Oh, my painting! It’s gone!
[Allen and Ethel are about to leave, but Mr. Norfleet cuts them off on the way.]
MR. NORFLEET: Nobody leaves the house! Sorry, just the formality. [picks up the phone] I’ll call the police.
[Suddenly, water starts shooting out of the phone receiver and into Mr. Norfleet’s face.]
MR. NORFLEET: Wha--- Who? What do I--- Op- Operator! What? [coughs]
[Cut to the bathroom. Moe and Larry walk in]
LARRY: I tell ya Moe. I couldn’t find that water shut-off.
MOE: Shut-off. Shut up!! Maybe the ring went behind that basin. [points to the sink]
[Moe gives Larry a crowbar]
MOE: Here. Pry that basin away from that wall just one inch, so I can look behind it.
[Larry starts to pry the basin away from the wall. As he is prying, Moe starts thinking out loud.]
MOE: [thinking to himself] Now if I was a ring, where would I go?
[Larry pries the basin away from the wall and it falls on Moe’s foot]
MOE: Ohhh! Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!
LARRY: I’m sorry, Moe.
MOE: So am I. [hits Larry in the head with the hammer]
LARRY: Oh!
MOE: [grabs Larry’s hair] You imbecile you!!
LARRY: Ahhh!
[Moe grabs the ring out of Larry’s hair]
MOE: Hey! The ring has been in your hair all the time.
LARRY: [yells] Mr. Norfleet!!
[Larry opens the bathroom door to yell out to Mr. Norfleet]
MOE: [yells] Mr. Norfleet!!
LARRY: [yells out the door] Mr. Norfleet! Hurry up!
[Mr. Norfleet enters the bathroom]
MOE: Here’s your ring, Mr. Norfleet. [gives the ring to Mr. Norfleet]
MR. NORFLEET: Oh, thank you! Oh! I’m frantic gentlemen! Frantic! Someone stole our new fifty thousand dollar painting.
LARRY: [whispers to Moe] Where’s Shemp? He loves pictures.
MOE: [to Larry] I think he’s upstairs. [to Mr. Norfleet] Wait here boss, we’ll be right back. [to Larry] Come on.
[Moe and Larry leave]
MR. NORFLEET: Anything. Anything I--- I must have a drink of water.
[Mr. Norfleet starts drinking the water that’s coming out of the wall]
[Cut to Allen and Ethel walking into the hallway in the mansion. The chef, who walks up to them carrying a big butcher knife, suddenly frightens them.]
CHEF: You folks goin’ somewhere?
ETHEL: Just looking for a drink of water.
CHEF: Turn on anything, you’ll get it!
[Allen and Ethel look at the chef in confusion as he walks away. When he leaves, they walk down the hallway a little further.]
ALLEN: He’s gone. [looking out one end of the hall] We can’t make it out that way.
ETHEL: We’ll be searched!
ALLEN: Yeah. [looks down and notices a pipe lying on the floor that Shemp dropped earlier] Yeah! [picks up the pipe] They won’t find anything.
[The door opens up behind Allen and Ethel. Moe and Larry are about to enter through the door but they stop suddenly when he hears Allen talk about the stolen painting. ]
ALLEN: [stuffing the painting into the pipe] I’ll put the picture in here until the excitement blows over. They’ll never find the painting in this pipe
[Moe and Larry hear this]
ALLEN: You go to the car. I’ll be right with you. [Ethel leaves]
[Moe and Larry sneak up behind Allen. Moe covers Allen’s mouth and they drag him into the room where all the guests are]
MOE: Ah! You crook, we got ya.
ALLEN: [frees himself from Moe and Larry] Let me alone! I’ll brain you! [swings the pipe at Moe and Larry, but they duck]
[Allen quickly crawls under table full of pies. He gets up and is now on the other side of the table where Moe and Larry can’t get him. Moe and Larry each grab a pie from the table and throw it at Allen]
ALLEN: Don’t you dare throw that pie. [The pies hits his face]
[Larry throws a pie, but Allen dodges it and the pie lands on one of the male guests. Moe throws a pie at Allen and it hits him. Larry tries to throw a pie at Allen, but Moe gets in the way and Larry ends up hitting Moe on the back of the head with the pie.]
MOE: Oh!!
LARRY: Oh! I’m sorry Moe! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you---
MOE: [attempts to throw a pie at Larry] Why---
LARRY: Oh no you don’t. [ducks and covers his face with his hands]
[Moe doesn’t throw the pie because he saw that Larry ducked. Moe squats down in front of Larry who is still covering his face.]
LARRY: [still covering his face] Are you here Moe?
MOE: No I just left.
[Larry uncovers his face.]
LARRY: Oh!
[Moe throws the pie at Larry’s face]
MOE: Get outta here. Next time watch where you’re throwing.
LARRY: Oh yeah. [grabs a pie from the table] Well I know what, uh my rights are---
[Moe hits Larry’s hand that’s holding the pie. The pie goes flying and it hits Mrs. Norfleet in the face. Allen throws a pie at the Moe and Larry, but they duck and it hits a woman in the face. Allen throws another pie, but it hits another woman instead.]
MOE: We’ll get you.
[Allen throws more pies at Moe and Larry, but he misses. Instead, one pie lands on another woman and another pie hits a man]
[Moe and Larry throw some pies at Allen, but they miss. One pie hits a woman in the face and another pie hits a man who is sitting in a chair sound asleep]
[Allen throws a pie at Moe, but he dodges it]
MOE: Haha. You missed me. Ehh! [sticks his tongue out]
[Allen throws another pie at Moe and it hits him in the face]
ALLEN: Ahh! That one got ya! Serves you right!
MOE: By golly, he didn’t miss me.
[Moe grabs another pie and prepares to throw it at Allen]
ALLEN: Oh now wait! Don’t you throw that! Don’t you throw---
[Mr. Norfleet walks into the room. Moe throws the pie at Allen and misses]
MR. NORFLEET: I say, what goes on here? [The pie hits him in the face]
MOE: [to Larry] Let’s get him.
[Moe and Larry run around the table to get Allen. Allen gets ready to swing the pipe at Moe, but Moe eyepokes him]
ALLEN: Oh!!
[Moe grabs the pipe from Allen. He swings the pipe at Allen and gets ready to hit him. When he swings the pipe back it hits Larry and then he hits Allen on the head]
LARRY: Oh!
ALLEN: Oh!!
[Moe hits Allen in the head again with the pipe and he gets knocked out and falls on the floor]
[Mr. Norfleet walks up to Moe and Larry]
MR. NORFLEET: What, what in the world---
[Moe takes the painting out of the pipe]
MOE: We recovered your painting.
LARRY: [points to Allen on the floor] And there’s the crook that stole it.
MR. NORFLEET: [takes the painting from Moe] My painting! My painting! You boys are wonderful! I’ll get you a nice reward. My painting…[leaves]
MOE: [to Larry] Oh boy! A reward!
LARRY: Won’t Shemp be glad to hear this.
MOE: He certainly will--- [suddenly notices that Shemp isn’t with him] Hey! Where is that puddinhead, Shemp?
[Moe and Larry look up]
[Cut to the bathroom, where Shemp is covered in a maze of attached pipes. Shemp is tightening the last pipe with a wrench.]
SHEMP: That’s got it! [throwing the wrench to the ground] Now to get out. [notices that he’s trapped in the maze of pipes and there’s no way out] Moe! Larry!
[The scene ends]
--THE END--
MOE: Night and Day Plumbers.
[Cut to Mr. Norfleet on the other end of the line]
MR. NORFLEET: [stuttering] I’d like you to come right out to 14-14 Bleaker Street right away. And ask for Mr. Norfleet.
[Cut to Moe again]
MOE: We’ll be over in two shakes of a martini. [hangs up the phone] Ha ha! Boy! Our first case [pushes the phone away but the extension at the end of it pushes it back into his head] Oh! [pushes the phone back again and it stretches back out, but this time, Moe ducks and it misses] Hahaha--- [the phone reaches out and hits him again] Grr!
[Moe turns on the engine to start the jeep.]
MOE: [yelling up at Shemp and Larry] C’mon, you slugs! We’re rollin’!
[Cut to upstairs where Shemp and Larry are sleeping and snoring loudly on bunk beds attached to the wall. Camera cuts back over to Moe downstairs.]
MOE: Oh, stubborn eh??!
[Moe pulls a nearby wire, which causes the two bunk beds to drop Shemp and Larry on the floor. Larry gets up, but Shemp tries to go back to sleep again.]
LARRY: [grabbing the plumbing tools] Hey, c’mon, Shemp! It’s our first call!
[Shemp starts to wake up. Larry walks up to the firepole in the room and drops the toolbag down there. It falls and hits Moe right on the head, who’s right under the firepole. Larry then slides down the pole and lands on top of Moe, pushing his foot down on the pedal. The jeep takes off. A second afterwards, Shemp is seen sliding down the pole and he crashes into the floor, missing the jeep completely.]
SHEMP: We gotta get a longer jeep. [looks off-screen at Moe and Larry taking off in the jeep]
[The scene ends and the next scene begins at Mr. Norfleet’s bathroom. Moe, Larry and Mr. Norfleet enter]
MR. NORFLEET: I dropped a very valuable diamond ring down into this wash base and drain. Please, don’t give up until you find it.
MOE: Don’t worry boss! We’ll have your ring back before you can say “Cucamonga.”
MR. NORFLEET: That’s fine. Oh! My wife has guests and is unveiling a new Van Brocklin painting she just bought. Please, work quietly.
MOE: Ok, we’ll be quiet.
[Mr. Norfleet leaves. Larry throws his tools down on floor causing a loud noise]
MOE: Quiet!!!!
[Moe throws his tools down as well and a loud noise occurs again]
MOE: I said quiet. [slaps Larry] Come on, get busy here!
LARRY: Alright.
MOE: Get the ring.
[At the same time, Moe and Larry stick their heads into the sink to look through the drain but they bump heads]
MOE AND LARRY: Oh!!
MOE: Come on! Get that plate outta there!
LARRY: Alright.
[Larry removes the metal plate on the top of the drain on the sink. Moe takes a flashlight, looks through the drain, and sticks his hand in. He grabs the ring out]
LARRY: Think you got something.
MOE: How about that! It was stuck on the inside rim all the time. Call Mr. Norfleet.
LARRY: [yells] Mr. Norfleet, we found the--- [bumps into Moe]
MOE: Oh!! [drops the ring and it falls down the drain]
LARRY: Get it!!
[At the same time, Moe and Larry stick their heads into the sink to look through the drain but they bump heads again]
MOE AND LARRY: Oh!!
MOE: You knucklehead you!!! You’re gonna get that ring if I have to shove you down the pipe after it.
LARRY: Wait a minute, there must be another way.
[Moe grabs Larry by the hair]
MOE: I’ll show ya!
[Moe turns Larry upside down and tries to shove him down the drain]
LARRY: Moe! Please! Ow!! Ow!! Ow, you’re crushing my skull.
MOE: Well get that ring!
LARRY: Ow! I won’t fit in here.
MOE: By golly, he’s right. His ears are in the way. [snaps fingers] I gotta get something.
[Moe walks over to the bag of tools]
MOE: Oh yeah! A wrench! [yanks the wrench out and it hits him in the face] Ohh!! Hmmmm!!
[Moe grabs the wrench and the plunger.]
MOE: Ah!!!
[He walks up to sink and sees Larry gone. Moe does a double take.]
MOE: Oh no, he couldn’t have. He couldn’t have gone down that drain pipe.
[Moe talks into the drain]
MOE: Larry! Where are you?
LARRY: [we hear his voice from inside the drain] I’m down here.
[Moe does a double take]
MOE: Nyahh!! [drops his tools] I’ll figure something out kid. Wait a minute. I’ll figure something out.
[Moe grabs a flashlight and looks down the drain. He sees Larry’s face]
LARRY: Come on, Moe. Get busy!!
MOE: [does a double take] Ok kid! I’ll be with you in a jiffy. Take it easy kid. I’ll find a way.
[Moe sticks his hand down the drain.]
[Cut to Larry who is under the sink. It turns out that he disconnected the pipes and is just under the sink. Moe’s hand grabs Larry’s hair and pulls it out]
MOE: Now easy Larry!
LARRY: Owww!!!
[Cut to Moe who grabs a chunk of Larry’s hair]
MOE: Mmm. Hmm. I got part of him. I’ll have to take him out in pieces. Take your time kid. [sticks his hand down the drain again.
[Larry gets up from under the sink and approaches Moe]
LARRY: Hey Moe! What are you doing?
MOE: I’m trying to get you outta this pipe, ya sap! [does a double take]
LARRY: What d’you do? Blow your stack!
MOE: I’ll blow your stack. I’ll smack you in the snoot. I’ll--- [can’t get his hand out of the drain] Larry! I can’t get it out. Help me, will ya. I’m stuck.
[Larry tries to pull Moe’s hand out]
MOE: Oh!
LARRY: Take it easy kid! I’ll get you out
MOE: Oh oh! Ohhhh!! [Moe gets his hand free]
LARRY: You’re hand alright?
MOE: I dunno. [pokes Larry in the eyes]
LARRY: It’s alright. [suddenly feels the pain from the eyepoke] Oww!!
MOE: Give me that. Hope that ring’s in here.
[Moe grabs the drain pipe from Larry. He looks through it and then listens to it. Larry blows on the other end of the pipe while Moe listens]
MOE: Ow!! I’ll murder you!
LARRY: Take it easy.
MOE: Hey! That ring went down that drain pipe.
LARRY: How do you know it didn’t go down the water pipe?
MOE: Maybe it did.
[We hear a horn honking from outside.]
[Cut to outside. Shemp is honking the horn of the jeep. He then grabs a bunch of pipes and carries them]
[Cut to Moe and Larry who look out the bathroom window to see who is honking.]
MOE: [yells out the window] Hey Shemp! We’re in here. We got a lot of work to do, so shake a leg!
[Cut to Shemp who is having a hard time carrying the pipes]
SHEMP: Hold your horses, will ya.
[Cut to Moe and Larry again]
MOE: I think that ring slid down one of the pipes into the basement. We all better go down there and find it and hurry.
LARRY: Well don’t rush me. I gotta wash my hands. [turns on the sink to wash his hands]
MOE: Oh. [grabs a plunger]
LARRY: Who do you think I am, anyhow?? Haha!
MOE: Hey anyhow!!
LARRY: What?
[Moe sticks the plunger on Larry’s head and drags him out of the bathroom]
LARRY: Oowwww!
MOE: Come on! Come on! Come on, anyhow!! Come on!
[Larry gets dragged out of the bathroom and accidentally leaves the faucet on the sink running.]
[The scene ends and the next scene begins down in the basement of the mansion. Moe is twisting a wrench on a pipe as Shemp watches.]
SHEMP: That’s got it!
MOE: But we didn’t locate the ring. [handing Shemp the wrench, which is still connecting to the pipe] Hold on to this, and don't let it slip. [to Larry] Gimme that blow torch.
[Larry aims the blowtorch towards Moe’s behind and accidentally turns it on, burning Moe's rear.]
MOE: Yeeeeooowwww!!!!!
[Moe accidentally steps in the bucket and gets his foot stuck inside of it.]
MOE: [to Larry] Get my foot outta there!
LARRY: Okay!
[Larry yanks Moe’s leg up, causing Moe to unintentionally knee him. Moe falls backwards and bumps into Shemp, causing Shemp’s arm that’s holding the wrench to slip, and the wrench bangs into Moe’s head. The pipe leaks again. Moe holds his hand under the leak, then holds his hand over to Larry.]
MOE: [to Larry] Now see what ya did?
LARRY: [looking at Moe’s hand] What?
MOE: [slapping Larry with the wet hand] Get outta here!
LARRY: Wait a minute! We can’t find the ring while it’s leakin’. [looking around the basement] I wonder where you shut the water off.
SHEMP: It must be upstairs. Water always runs downhill.
MOE: [pinching Shemp’s cheek] You’re a very intelligent imbecile!
SHEMP: Thanks!
MOE: Yeah. Shut the water off!!!! Go on!
SHEMP: Alright! [quickly picks up his tools and heads for the stairs leading to the outside of the basement] Get me nervous!
MOE: Go get busy!
[Cut to upstairs where we see the guests that Mrs. Norfleet has over at the mansion. Allen, Ethel and Mrs. Norfleet are talking]
ETHEL: We’re simply dying to see the Van Brocklin.
MRS. NORFLEET: Well, I’ll not keep you waiting.
[Cut back to inside of the basement with Moe and Larry. Moe is twisting the pipe with a wrench, as Larry sits beside him, relaxing while reading a newspaper. Larry notices that the pail next to him held under the leak is filled with water, so he puts his newspaper down and dumps all the water out of the pail. Then he stands the pail back up under the leak again.]
LARRY: [picking the newspaper back up again] Ah!
[Moe looks over at Larry and then bangs his wrench over Larry’s head.]
MOE: A great help you are! That other chowderhead didn’t shut the water off, now you do it! [handing Larry a diving rod] Here!
LARRY: Wait a minute! Where will I find a valve?
MOE: That’s your job, ya dummy! Look in the kitchen. Look in the attic. [slapping Larry] Look in the backyard!
LARRY: Alright!
[Larry holds his diving rod behind him then begins to walk away. The rod gets caught onto the back of Moe’s suspenders. As Larry tries to walk away, the suspenders stretch out farther. So Larry then lets go of the rod, and it goes flying backwards into Moe’s head, knocking him into the furnace. Larry jumps in the shock as he sees this, and then dashes out of the basement in fright.]
[Cut to Mrs. Norfleet and the guests. They are all admiring the Van Brocklin painting]
ETHEL: Oh, it’s divine! What color! What detail!
MRS. NORFLEET: And it’s over two hundred years old. Every museum in the country tried to buy it.
ALLEN: It’s a masterpiece alright.
[Cut to Larry passing by the bathroom. He sees the sink running and the water that has leaked all over the bathroom]
LARRY: What idiot left this water running? [realizes it was him] I did!
[Larry turns off the faucet.]
[Cut to Moe in the basement. Water comes out from the pipe he’s fixing and it splashes on his face]
MOE: Uhhh!!! I wonder where those other lugs are.
[Cut to Larry in the bathroom.]
LARRY: I gotta get rid of this water. [grabs a hand drill]
[Larry starts drilling holes on the floor to get the water out of the bathroom]
[Cut to inside of the basement, where Moe has finished tightening the pipe again.]
MOE: Ah! Success at last!
[Cut to Larry in the bathroom. He continues to drill the holes on the floor]
LARRY: [as he is drilling] What an idea!
[Cut to Moe in the basement. Suddenly, water from the drill holes in the bathroom floor above splashes on Moe’s head.]
MOE: Yeeooowww!!! [moves to the side] What’s the matter? What’s going on here? [more water starts dripping on him] Ohhh, moida!
[Cut to Larry who stops drilling.]
LARRY: Hey! I better find that water cut-off. [yanks the drill out of the floor and it hits him in the face] Ohh!! [throws the drill on the floor and leaves]
[Cut to Moe in the basement]
MOE: I’ll find that ring if it kills me.
[Moe grabs a box to stand on top of and then begins tightening the pipe with a wrench. Camera cuts over to a chef in the kitchen washing his hands in the sink. In the basement, Moe twists a pipe around. This causes the sink faucet in the kitchen to twist to the other side as well. The chef watches in surprise. As he tries to grab the faucet, it begins turning up and down. The chef grabs the faucet and pulls it out of the wall, causing water to leak out of the faucet hole. Back inside the basement, Moe accidentally pulls the two pipes apart, causing the water stops leaking out of the kitchen faucet hole. The chef puts his face up to the hole in curiosity. Moe then begins re-attaches the two pipes, causing the water to spray out of the kitchen faucet hole again and into the chef’s face. The water stops coming out of the hole and chef holds his face up to it again. Moe finishes re-attaching the pipes, and the water sprays the chef in the face again.]
[Cut to Larry who is outside. He begins to shovel a hole in the ground]
LARRY: I’ll find that water cut-off.
[Cut to Allen and Ethel admiring the Van Brocklin painting]
ETHEL: [whispering] It’s the real Van Brocklin alright! Worth a fortune.
ALLEN: [whispering back] Okay, we’ll... [mumbles]
[Cut to Moe and Shemp in the basement.]
MOE: Go on, get another length of pipe! Go ahead!
[Shemp walks over to an electricity box and pulls a pipe attached to the top of the box. He notices the electrical wires inside the pipe]
SHEMP: Hey, Moe! No wonder the water don’t woik. These pipes are clogged up with wires! [Moe walks up to him] Look.
MOE: Well, yank ‘em out and we’ll hook the pipes up all over again. You oysterbrain! [pushing Shemp] Go on!
SHEMP: Alright! [begins to yank the wires out of the pipe]
[Cut to Mr. Norfleet talking to a guest.]
MR. NORFLEET: No, we don’t go in for sculpture. It’s too bulky. We---
[The lights on the wall nearby begin to shake, from Shemp pulling the electrical wires down in the basement. Mr. Norfleet tries to catch the shaking light and at the same time, he tries to appear casual in front of his guest.]
SHEMP: [pulling the wires] White all colors...
[Suddenly, the light on the wall gets pulled inside of the wall, and makes a big hole.]
MR. NORFLEET: Short circuit, no doubt!
[Cut back to the chef in the kitchen, mixing batter. There is suddenly some clanking noise above him. He looks up at the light above him and notices the light bulb moving up and down due to Shemp's wire pulling. Then the hands of a clock on top of the wall in front of the chef are moving rapidly. The chef does a double take when he sees this. The clock falls off the wall and into the bowl of batter, splashing it all over the chef’s face.]
[Cut to the basement where we see a big pile of wires. Then the camera pans over and we see Shemp still pulling the wires out of the pipe.]
[Cut to Larry who has just dug a big hole on the ground outside of the mansion. He still continues digging]
LARRY: Where is that water cut-off?
[Cut to Shemp in the basement. He just finished pulling out the electrical wires out of the pipe]
SHEMP: [to Moe] That does it! End of the line!
[Moe walks over to Shemp, dragging a water pipe with him.]
MOE: Okay! We’ll try and get these pipes together and then everything will be oaky-doaky.
SHEMP: Alright!
[Shemp and Moe try to connect the electrical pipes and the water pipe together.]
[Cut to the kitchen. The chef turns on the light bulb switch. Water flows inside of the bulb instead of the light turning on. It fills completely with water, then cracks and starts dripping water. The bewildered chef looks up at the dripping light bulb.]
CHEF: This house has sho’ gone crazy! [grabs a match above the stove]
[Cut to the basement where Shemp and Moe have connected both the electrical and water pipes together.]
SHEMP: I never thought I’d do it!
MOE: [shaking Shemp’s hand] Success! Hahaha!
[Cut to the kitchen. The chef lights the stove with a match and water sprays out of the stove instead of fire. The water sprays in the chef’s face. He tries turning the stove off, but no luck. He then heads for the closet but slips on the wet floor several times on his way.]
[Cut back to the outside of the mansion. Larry pokes his head through from under the ground.]
LARRY: I’ll find this thing, or else! [sticks his head back in the hole]
[Cut over to Shemp walking in the hallway of the mansion. One of the pipes he’s carrying happens to fall right down next to the basement door. Shemp walks around and notices a bathroom door. He opens the door and then drops his tools on the floor and walks in.]
[Cut back to the kitchen. The chef peers his out of the closet door, dressed in a raincoat. He rushes over to the stove and tries to stop the water from coming out. After having no luck, he heads towards the outside of the kitchen and again slips on the floor on his way.]
[Cut to Shemp in bathroom. He is in the bathtub trying to fix the faucet. Shemp takes a wrench out of his toolbag and twists the water faucet all the way off. Water splashes out of the faucet hole and onto Shemp.]
SHEMP: Oh, must be a loose washer! [covering the faucet hole with his hands] How do ya like that? [reaching for the pliers in his back pocket] I’ll fix that in a minute! Gotta be a loose washer. [accidentally drops the pliers] Oh!
[Shemp uncovers the faucet hole and then bends over and pick up the pliers. The water from the faucet hole splashes him again. Shemp covers the hole again and then swings the pliers at it, but accidentally hits his hand.]
SHEMP: Oh oh oh!
[Cut to Mrs. Norfleet and her guests]
MRS. NORFLEET: Dear me! I can’t understand what’s holding up dinner.
[The chef enters with his wet raincoat on.]
CHEF: Sorry folks. Dinner’s postponed on account of rain! [leaves]
MRS. NORFLEET: [to the guests] Well, I, I’m sure it won’t be long. Shall we see what’s on the television set?
MR. NORFLEET: Uh, excellent. Uh, excellent idea. [clears throat]
[The Norfleets and the guest all walk over to the television set. Meanwhile, Allen secretly cuts around the Van Brocklin painting with a knife as Ethel keeps a lookout.]
MRS. NORFLEET: [to her guests] We get the most amazing results.
[Mrs. Norfleet turns the TV set on.]
TV ANNOUNCER: Good evening, friends.
MRS. NORFLEET: Th-That’s odd! There’s sound, but no picture.
TV ANNOUNCER: Our special feature for tonight will be glimpses of scenic America. First we take you to Niagara Falls.
MRS. NORFLEET: [trying to get the picture on in the TV set] I’ll get it in a minute.
[The picture on the TV set turns on and we see the Niagara Falls. Suddenly, water bursts forth from the TV set and splashes all over Mrs. Norfleet.]
MR. NORFLEET: Oh! Oh, dear!
MRS. NORFLEET: Oh! Water!
MR. NORFLEET: Change your clothes dear, you’re all wet.
[Cut back to Shemp in the bathroom. Shemp is in front of the leaking faucet hole and he’s holding a pipe.]
SHEMP: I’ll let the water out in the window, that’s what I’ll do.
[Shemp screws the pipe onto the faucet hole, and the water from the faucet hole ends up leaking outside of the other end of the pipe.]
SHEMP: Oh, yeah???
[Shemp gets another pipe and then screws it onto the end of the first pipe. The leak ends up coming out of the end of the second pipe. Shemp gets even more aggravated as he notices this.]
[Cut to Mrs. Norfleet and her guests. Allen secretly steals the Van Brocklin painting and puts it inside his jacket]
[Wilkes, the Butler walks up to the weeping Mrs. Norfleet.]
WILKES: Madam, shall I get you some water?
MRS. NORFLEET: No!!! [looks over and notices the Van Brocklin painting missing from the frame] Oh, my painting! It’s gone!
[Allen and Ethel are about to leave, but Mr. Norfleet cuts them off on the way.]
MR. NORFLEET: Nobody leaves the house! Sorry, just the formality. [picks up the phone] I’ll call the police.
[Suddenly, water starts shooting out of the phone receiver and into Mr. Norfleet’s face.]
MR. NORFLEET: Wha--- Who? What do I--- Op- Operator! What? [coughs]
[Cut to the bathroom. Moe and Larry walk in]
LARRY: I tell ya Moe. I couldn’t find that water shut-off.
MOE: Shut-off. Shut up!! Maybe the ring went behind that basin. [points to the sink]
[Moe gives Larry a crowbar]
MOE: Here. Pry that basin away from that wall just one inch, so I can look behind it.
[Larry starts to pry the basin away from the wall. As he is prying, Moe starts thinking out loud.]
MOE: [thinking to himself] Now if I was a ring, where would I go?
[Larry pries the basin away from the wall and it falls on Moe’s foot]
MOE: Ohhh! Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!
LARRY: I’m sorry, Moe.
MOE: So am I. [hits Larry in the head with the hammer]
LARRY: Oh!
MOE: [grabs Larry’s hair] You imbecile you!!
LARRY: Ahhh!
[Moe grabs the ring out of Larry’s hair]
MOE: Hey! The ring has been in your hair all the time.
LARRY: [yells] Mr. Norfleet!!
[Larry opens the bathroom door to yell out to Mr. Norfleet]
MOE: [yells] Mr. Norfleet!!
LARRY: [yells out the door] Mr. Norfleet! Hurry up!
[Mr. Norfleet enters the bathroom]
MOE: Here’s your ring, Mr. Norfleet. [gives the ring to Mr. Norfleet]
MR. NORFLEET: Oh, thank you! Oh! I’m frantic gentlemen! Frantic! Someone stole our new fifty thousand dollar painting.
LARRY: [whispers to Moe] Where’s Shemp? He loves pictures.
MOE: [to Larry] I think he’s upstairs. [to Mr. Norfleet] Wait here boss, we’ll be right back. [to Larry] Come on.
[Moe and Larry leave]
MR. NORFLEET: Anything. Anything I--- I must have a drink of water.
[Mr. Norfleet starts drinking the water that’s coming out of the wall]
[Cut to Allen and Ethel walking into the hallway in the mansion. The chef, who walks up to them carrying a big butcher knife, suddenly frightens them.]
CHEF: You folks goin’ somewhere?
ETHEL: Just looking for a drink of water.
CHEF: Turn on anything, you’ll get it!
[Allen and Ethel look at the chef in confusion as he walks away. When he leaves, they walk down the hallway a little further.]
ALLEN: He’s gone. [looking out one end of the hall] We can’t make it out that way.
ETHEL: We’ll be searched!
ALLEN: Yeah. [looks down and notices a pipe lying on the floor that Shemp dropped earlier] Yeah! [picks up the pipe] They won’t find anything.
[The door opens up behind Allen and Ethel. Moe and Larry are about to enter through the door but they stop suddenly when he hears Allen talk about the stolen painting. ]
ALLEN: [stuffing the painting into the pipe] I’ll put the picture in here until the excitement blows over. They’ll never find the painting in this pipe
[Moe and Larry hear this]
ALLEN: You go to the car. I’ll be right with you. [Ethel leaves]
[Moe and Larry sneak up behind Allen. Moe covers Allen’s mouth and they drag him into the room where all the guests are]
MOE: Ah! You crook, we got ya.
ALLEN: [frees himself from Moe and Larry] Let me alone! I’ll brain you! [swings the pipe at Moe and Larry, but they duck]
[Allen quickly crawls under table full of pies. He gets up and is now on the other side of the table where Moe and Larry can’t get him. Moe and Larry each grab a pie from the table and throw it at Allen]
ALLEN: Don’t you dare throw that pie. [The pies hits his face]
[Larry throws a pie, but Allen dodges it and the pie lands on one of the male guests. Moe throws a pie at Allen and it hits him. Larry tries to throw a pie at Allen, but Moe gets in the way and Larry ends up hitting Moe on the back of the head with the pie.]
MOE: Oh!!
LARRY: Oh! I’m sorry Moe! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you---
MOE: [attempts to throw a pie at Larry] Why---
LARRY: Oh no you don’t. [ducks and covers his face with his hands]
[Moe doesn’t throw the pie because he saw that Larry ducked. Moe squats down in front of Larry who is still covering his face.]
LARRY: [still covering his face] Are you here Moe?
MOE: No I just left.
[Larry uncovers his face.]
LARRY: Oh!
[Moe throws the pie at Larry’s face]
MOE: Get outta here. Next time watch where you’re throwing.
LARRY: Oh yeah. [grabs a pie from the table] Well I know what, uh my rights are---
[Moe hits Larry’s hand that’s holding the pie. The pie goes flying and it hits Mrs. Norfleet in the face. Allen throws a pie at the Moe and Larry, but they duck and it hits a woman in the face. Allen throws another pie, but it hits another woman instead.]
MOE: We’ll get you.
[Allen throws more pies at Moe and Larry, but he misses. Instead, one pie lands on another woman and another pie hits a man]
[Moe and Larry throw some pies at Allen, but they miss. One pie hits a woman in the face and another pie hits a man who is sitting in a chair sound asleep]
[Allen throws a pie at Moe, but he dodges it]
MOE: Haha. You missed me. Ehh! [sticks his tongue out]
[Allen throws another pie at Moe and it hits him in the face]
ALLEN: Ahh! That one got ya! Serves you right!
MOE: By golly, he didn’t miss me.
[Moe grabs another pie and prepares to throw it at Allen]
ALLEN: Oh now wait! Don’t you throw that! Don’t you throw---
[Mr. Norfleet walks into the room. Moe throws the pie at Allen and misses]
MR. NORFLEET: I say, what goes on here? [The pie hits him in the face]
MOE: [to Larry] Let’s get him.
[Moe and Larry run around the table to get Allen. Allen gets ready to swing the pipe at Moe, but Moe eyepokes him]
ALLEN: Oh!!
[Moe grabs the pipe from Allen. He swings the pipe at Allen and gets ready to hit him. When he swings the pipe back it hits Larry and then he hits Allen on the head]
LARRY: Oh!
ALLEN: Oh!!
[Moe hits Allen in the head again with the pipe and he gets knocked out and falls on the floor]
[Mr. Norfleet walks up to Moe and Larry]
MR. NORFLEET: What, what in the world---
[Moe takes the painting out of the pipe]
MOE: We recovered your painting.
LARRY: [points to Allen on the floor] And there’s the crook that stole it.
MR. NORFLEET: [takes the painting from Moe] My painting! My painting! You boys are wonderful! I’ll get you a nice reward. My painting…[leaves]
MOE: [to Larry] Oh boy! A reward!
LARRY: Won’t Shemp be glad to hear this.
MOE: He certainly will--- [suddenly notices that Shemp isn’t with him] Hey! Where is that puddinhead, Shemp?
[Moe and Larry look up]
[Cut to the bathroom, where Shemp is covered in a maze of attached pipes. Shemp is tightening the last pipe with a wrench.]
SHEMP: That’s got it! [throwing the wrench to the ground] Now to get out. [notices that he’s trapped in the maze of pipes and there’s no way out] Moe! Larry!
[The scene ends]
--THE END--
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